This portfolio has only about 1.4 years of historical data, based on the youngest asset in the portfolio. Some metrics, projections, and AI insights may be less reliable and should be interpreted with caution.
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A high-flying portfolio with a crypto twist that could crash harder than a diet after Thanksgiving

Report created on Jun 11, 2025

Risk profile Info

5/7
Growth
Less risk More risk

Diversification profile Info

3/5
Moderately Diversified
Less diversification More diversification
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Positions

At first glance, this portfolio screams, "I love the S&P 500, but I also have a gambling problem." Allocating a whopping 60% to a Vanguard S&P 500 ETF is like saying you're into risky investments but still call your mom when there's a thunderstorm. Then, there's a 24% flirtation with the iShares Bitcoin Trust because, apparently, traditional roller coasters aren't exciting enough. The small cap value ETFs and emerging markets are like adding a dash of exotic spices to an otherwise bland diet, but it's too little to call this portfolio diversified.

Growth Info

With a CAGR of 32%, this portfolio has been on a tear, but let's not forget that past performance is like rearview mirror driving — it's not indicative of future results. The max drawdown of -21.19% is a stark reminder that what goes up can come crashing down, especially with heavy reliance on high-volatility assets like Bitcoin. Those 11 days that make up 90% of returns? That's not investing; that's playing financial Russian roulette.

Projection Info

The Monte Carlo simulation, with its 1,000 different future scenarios, might make you feel like a financial Nostradamus. But remember, it's essentially sophisticated gambling. While seeing a 50th percentile projection of 3,134% growth might have you planning early retirement, the 5th percentile at 391.8% is like a bucket of cold water on those dreams. It's crucial to remember that these simulations are as good at predicting the future as your local weatherman is at predicting next month's weather.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    76%
  • Other
    24%

The asset class spread here is like having a diet of 76% steak and 24% cotton candy because Bitcoin is not exactly what you'd call a nutritious addition to your financial health. The complete absence of bonds or cash equivalents is like driving without a seatbelt — risky and asking for trouble. This portfolio could use some boring, yet stabilizing, assets to not crash at the first sign of economic turmoil.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    20%
  • Financials
    12%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    9%
  • Industrials
    7%
  • Health Care
    7%
  • Telecommunications
    6%
  • Consumer Staples
    4%
  • Energy
    4%
  • Basic Materials
    3%
  • Utilities
    2%
  • Real Estate
    2%

With technology taking up a fifth of the portfolio, it's clear there's a tech addiction problem. Financial services and consumer cyclicals follow, but with such a heavy tilt towards tech, it's like betting your entire race on a horse because you like its name. The minimal diversification across sectors is a gamble that could backfire if tech takes a nosedive, leaving you wishing for a more balanced sector spread.

Regions Info

  • North America
    68%
  • Asia Emerging
    2%
  • Europe Developed
    2%
  • Japan
    1%
  • Asia Developed
    1%
  • Africa/Middle East
    1%

The geographic allocation is as adventurous as a weekend in Vegas, with a heavy bias towards North America (68%) and almost negligible exposure to other regions. This "America or bust" approach overlooks the growth potential in emerging markets and developed international sectors, making the portfolio's success overly dependent on the performance of the U.S. market. It's like planning a world tour but only visiting your backyard.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    30%
  • Large-cap
    22%
  • Mid-cap
    13%
  • Small-cap
    6%
  • Micro-cap
    4%

The market cap distribution has the subtlety of a sledgehammer, with a significant skew towards mega and big caps, thanks to the S&P 500 ETF. The small and micro cap exposure is like throwing a few pennies into a wishing well, hoping for a miracle. This cap size imbalance could limit growth opportunities and resilience against market volatility, making the portfolio's performance as predictable as a soap opera plot.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

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The portfolio's risk vs. return optimization seems to have been forgotten like last year's gym membership. With heavy bets on the S&P 500 and Bitcoin, it's like expecting to win a marathon by sprinting the first mile and crawling the rest. A more balanced approach, considering the Efficient Frontier (the best possible return for a given level of risk), could prevent this portfolio from puffing out long before the finish line.

Dividends Info

  • Avantis® International Small Cap Value ETF 3.60%
  • Avantis® U.S. Small Cap Value ETF 1.70%
  • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF 1.30%
  • Vanguard FTSE Emerging Markets Index Fund ETF Shares 2.90%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 1.18%

The dividend yields in this portfolio are like finding loose change in the couch — nice to have but not enough to get excited about. While dividends are not the star of the show here, they could provide a steady income stream in rough market seas. Overreliance on growth, particularly from volatile assets like Bitcoin, neglects the stabilizing role dividends can play, making the portfolio's income potential as underwhelming as a raincheck for a free coffee.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • Avantis® International Small Cap Value ETF 0.36%
  • Avantis® U.S. Small Cap Value ETF 0.25%
  • iShares Bitcoin Trust 0.12%
  • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF 0.03%
  • Vanguard FTSE Emerging Markets Index Fund ETF Shares 0.08%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.08%

The total expense ratio (TER) of 0.08% is surprisingly low, like finding a designer dress at a thrift store price. It's a rare piece of good news in a portfolio that otherwise seems to embrace risk with the enthusiasm of a toddler running towards a playground. However, low costs alone can't save a portfolio from the consequences of its other, more adventurous choices.

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