A portfolio that’s like a blind date with volatility: Surprising, unpredictable, and you’re paying for it
Report created on May 30, 2025Risk profile
4/7
Diversification profile
3/5
Positions
-
SC Schwab U.S. Large-Cap Growth ETF
SCHG - US8085243009 17.00% -
AV Avantis® U.S. Small Cap Value ETF
AVUV - US0250728773 16.60% -
FD First Trust Morningstar Dividend Leaders Index Fund
FDL - US3369171091 16.60% -
IG FT Cboe Vest Gold Target Income ETF
IGLD 16.60% -
IP Invesco International BuyBack Achievers ETF
IPKW - US46138E6445 16.60% -
WT WisdomTree Trust - WisdomTree U.S. Quality Shareholder Yield Fund
WTV - US97717W5470 16.60%
This portfolio is like a stew made from whatever was left in the fridge: a bit of everything but nothing that makes sense together. With a nearly equal weight across six ETFs, it's as if someone thought diversification meant throwing darts at a board of ETF names. The inclusion of gold, small-cap, and international buyback ETFs next to large-cap growth and dividend leaders is like mixing chocolates with pickles — interesting, but not for everyone's taste.
Growth
With a CAGR of 12.20% and a max drawdown of -18.92%, this portfolio has the performance of a rollercoaster designed by a committee: thrilling highs but gut-wrenching drops. The "Days that make up 90% of returns" at 16.0 days is like saying your entire love life depends on less than three weeks in high school. Past performance is not a reliable indicator for future results, but it does suggest this portfolio loves drama.
Projection
Monte Carlo simulations show a wild ride ahead, with outcomes ranging from "buy a yacht" to "sell a kidney." With only 23 simulations out of 1,000 ending in tears, it seems optimistic, but remember, Monte Carlo is like weather forecasting for your money: it's educated guessing, not a crystal ball. Betting on those odds for your financial future? Hope you're good at poker.
Asset classes
- Stocks 83%
- Bonds 13%
- Other 4%
The asset class mix here is like a diet based on food pyramids from different countries: it's diversified, but you're not sure it's healthy. Stock-heavy at 83%, with a side of bonds and a sprinkle of "other," suggests a strong growth appetite, but with indigestion risk if the market tumbles. Zero cash allocation is like driving without a spare tire; it's fine until it's not.
Sectors
- Financials 18%
- Technology 13%
- Consumer Discretionary 10%
- Energy 9%
- Health Care 8%
- Industrials 8%
- Telecommunications 6%
- Consumer Staples 6%
- Utilities 3%
- Basic Materials 3%
Sector allocation feels like someone spun a wheel of fortune, landing heavily on Financial Services and Technology but barely touching Real Estate. This spread is like favoring sprinters over marathon runners in a decathlon; it might work, but it's not playing to the strengths of diversification. The heavy tech bet is particularly spicy, like expecting a chili pepper to win a fruit salad contest.
Regions
- North America 67%
- Europe Developed 11%
- Japan 2%
- Asia Emerging 1%
Geographic allocation is heavily skewed towards North America, with a modest nod to Europe and a whisper to Japan. The portfolio treats global diversification like a picky eater treats vegetables: reluctantly and in minimal amounts. This "America or bust" approach is fine if you're a bald eagle, less so if you're an investor seeking balanced global exposure.
Market capitalization
- Large-cap 22%
- Mid-cap 20%
- Mega-cap 20%
- Small-cap 13%
- Micro-cap 8%
With a smattering across big, medium, mega, small, and micro caps, the portfolio tries to play every position on the field simultaneously. It's like a soccer team where everyone wants to be the striker; there's potential, but it's chaotic. The small and micro cap exposure is particularly bold, akin to betting on underdogs because they once won a game.
Risk vs. return
This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.
Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.
On the Efficient Frontier, this portfolio is like a kid trying to ride a bike without training wheels for the first time: a bit wobbly and likely not optimized. The risk-return trade-off seems more accidental than planned, suggesting that while you might reach your destination, it won’t be the smoothest ride. Striving for the best risk-return mix is commendable, but this portfolio makes it look like throwing darts blindfolded.
Dividends
- Avantis® U.S. Small Cap Value ETF 1.80%
- First Trust Morningstar Dividend Leaders Index Fund 4.10%
- FT Cboe Vest Gold Target Income ETF 17.80%
- Invesco International BuyBack Achievers ETF 3.70%
- Schwab U.S. Large-Cap Growth ETF 0.40%
- WisdomTree Trust - WisdomTree U.S. Quality Shareholder Yield Fund 1.60%
- Weighted yield (per year) 4.88%
The dividend yield strategy here is a mixed bag, with the FT Cboe Vest Gold Target Income ETF's 17.80% yield standing out like a sore thumb. This isn't so much a yield strategy as it is a Hail Mary pass in a football game. High yields can be enticing, like the siren's song, but they also carry the risk of dragging your portfolio onto the rocks.
Ongoing product costs
- Avantis® U.S. Small Cap Value ETF 0.25%
- First Trust Morningstar Dividend Leaders Index Fund 0.45%
- FT Cboe Vest Gold Target Income ETF 0.85%
- Invesco International BuyBack Achievers ETF 0.55%
- Schwab U.S. Large-Cap Growth ETF 0.04%
- WisdomTree Trust - WisdomTree U.S. Quality Shareholder Yield Fund 0.12%
- Weighted costs total (per year) 0.38%
With total TER at 0.38%, the cost isn't outrageous, but it's not negligible either. It's like paying for a gym membership you only half use; you're in shape, but could you be fitter with a better plan? The gold ETF's 0.85% fee is particularly eye-watering, like ordering a premium cocktail only to find it's mostly ice.
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