🔥 Roast mode

Roast my portfolio

Same analysis. No diplomacy. Roast mode runs your holdings through the full Insightfolio report — allocation, risk, costs, overlap, performance — and then writes it up like a friend who has seen your trades and is done being polite.

Actual output

Real roasts, real portfolios

Every quote below is lifted word for word from a public report in the community explorer. Nothing was rewritten for this page — open one and read the rest.

Value-tilted global tracker that secretly just loves giant tech and hopes for the best

Structurally this is a Russian doll of global equity: one big all-world ETF with two value-factor wrappers bolted on. On paper it screams “smart beta sophistication,” but in practice it’s a slightly overengineered way to own the same global stock market with a mild value accent.
Global Value-Tilt Blend Europe Developed Read the full roast →

This portfolio loves broad index funds but insists on driving them with the parking brake half on

This portfolio is basically two giant “own-everything” engines (US total market plus international total market), then someone panic-added smaller funds around the edges like garnish.
Broad Index Growth Blend USA Read the full roast →

Hyperactive tech momentum rocket pretending to be diversified with four months of lucky tailwind

This portfolio is a tech-flavored pyramid with a patriotic twist: over half stuffed into a plain S&P 500 tracker, then layered with momentum-heavy international, a chunky semiconductor bet, and two random “because I like them” stocks thrown on top.
Concentrated Tech Growth Blend USA Read the full roast →
How it works

The numbers do not flinch. Only the writing does.

Exactly the same analysis

Roast mode changes the write-up, nothing else. The same holdings go through the same allocation, risk, cost and performance engine, and you get the same report with the same charts.

Rude about the portfolio, not about you

The jokes go at the concentration you did not notice, the two funds holding the same thing, and the fee you forgot about. Never at the person holding them.

It admits when you are right

A sensible allocation gets a sensible verdict. Roast mode simply refuses to be impressed about it.

What gets roasted

Every section of the report, with the gloves off

These are the sections of a normal Insightfolio report. In roast mode each one keeps its numbers and loses its manners.

Asset classes Regions Sectors Market capitalization Ongoing product costs Dividends Redundant positions True holdings Risk contribution Growth Projection Factors

Before you get roasted

Is a roast report a real analysis?

Yes. Roast mode changes the writing, not the maths. The same holdings go through the same allocation, risk, cost and performance engine, and you get the same report with the same charts. Only the commentary changes.

How harsh does it actually get?

It is blunt about the portfolio, never about you. When an allocation is sensible, the roast says so — just without the applause.

Can I get the same portfolio in the neutral tone?

Yes. The tone is picked per report, so you can run the same holdings again in the regular style and compare the two.

Will my roast report be public?

Yes — reports appear in the community explorer, which is exactly where the examples on this page come from. Nothing about your identity is attached to them.

Bring your worst allocation

Paste your holdings and get the full breakdown in about two minutes — in a tone that will not pretend everything is fine. Your first report is free, no card needed.