This portfolio has only about 1.3 years of historical data, based on the youngest asset in the portfolio. Some metrics, projections, and AI insights may be less reliable and should be interpreted with caution.
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A portfolio that tries to have its cake and eat it too but ends up with indigestion

Report created on May 5, 2025

Risk profile Info

4/7
Balanced
Less risk More risk

Diversification profile Info

5/5
Highly Diversified
Less diversification More diversification

Positions

At first glance, this portfolio looks like it was designed by someone who thinks diversification means collecting as many ETFs as possible without a clear plan. With 60% in a total stock market ETF, it's like putting most of your eggs in one basket and then pretending it's diversified by adding a sprinkle of international stocks, a dash of long-term bonds, a pinch of Hong Kong, and a mysterious dollop of Bitcoin. It's like making a cocktail with premium gin and then diluting it with four random juices from the back of your fridge.

Growth Info

Historically, this portfolio has strutted around with a 15.95% CAGR, which might seem impressive until you realize it's like winning a race because the other runners were tying their shoelaces. The -16.23% max drawdown is a reality check that volatility isn't just a word fancy people use to sound smart. It means your investment can take a nosedive when you least expect it, and those six days that made up 90% of your returns? That's like banking your entire career on the few days you actually answered emails on time.

Projection Info

Monte Carlo simulations are like video game simulations of your financial future, and this portfolio's got the unpredictability of a game of Mario Kart. Sure, there's a chance you could end up with a 1,179.5% increase at the median, but let's not forget the 5th percentile scenario where you're left with a meager 78.6% increase. Banking on a 24.72% annualized return from these simulations is like expecting to win the lottery because you dreamt of the numbers.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    84%
  • Bonds
    10%
  • Other
    5%
  • Cash
    1%

With 84% in stocks, this portfolio is more lopsided than a seesaw with an elephant on one end. The 10% in bonds is like bringing an umbrella to a hurricane, and the 5% in "other" (here's looking at you, Bitcoin) is the financial equivalent of keeping a wild card up your sleeve but forgetting it's there. The 1% in cash? That's just the loose change found under the couch cushions.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    20%
  • Financials
    17%
  • Industrials
    9%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    8%
  • Health Care
    8%
  • Telecommunications
    6%
  • Consumer Staples
    5%
  • Real Estate
    4%
  • Utilities
    3%
  • Energy
    3%
  • Basic Materials
    2%

The sector allocation is like a diet that's 20% pizza because technology is overweight, and the rest is a mix of things that sound healthy but aren't quite balanced. Financial services and industrials are the portfolio's attempt at eating greens, but with consumer cyclicals, healthcare, and the rest trailing behind, it's clear this diet lacks variety. It's like saying you eat well because you had a salad that one time last month.

Regions Info

  • North America
    61%
  • Asia Developed
    11%
  • Europe Developed
    6%
  • Asia Emerging
    3%
  • Japan
    2%
  • Australasia
    1%
  • Africa/Middle East
    1%

With 61% in North America, this portfolio screams "home bias" louder than an American at a foreign Starbucks asking for "regular coffee." The smattering across developed Asia, Europe, and the token investments in emerging markets are like saying you're worldly because you own a globe. The 11% in developed Asia, mostly pinned on Hong Kong, is like betting on a horse because you like its name.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    36%
  • Large-cap
    28%
  • Mid-cap
    14%
  • Small-cap
    4%
  • Micro-cap
    1%

The mega and big cap focus (64% combined) is like only being friends with popular kids in school. Sure, it feels safe until they decide skinny jeans are out, and you're left unfashionable and alone. The minimal investment in small and micro caps (5%) is the equivalent of saying, "I have risky friends," but in reality, they just jaywalk occasionally.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

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When it comes to risk vs. return, this portfolio is on the efficient frontier like a drunk guy is on the dance floor — technically there, but it's not a pretty sight. The promise of a more efficient portfolio with a 40.51% expected return at the same risk level is like saying you could date a supermodel if you were taller, richer, and more attractive. Nice fantasy, but let's get real.

Dividends Info

  • iShares MSCI Hong Kong ETF 3.90%
  • iShares 20+ Year Treasury Bond ETF 3.90%
  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares 1.30%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 3.00%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 2.01%

The dividend yield strategy here is about as well thought out as a meal plan consisting solely of appetizers. Sure, the yields from the Hong Kong ETF and Treasury Bonds are decent, but relying on them for income is like trying to fill up on free bread at a restaurant. It might work for a while, but you'll be left hungry for more substantial growth.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • iShares MSCI Hong Kong ETF 0.50%
  • iShares Bitcoin Trust 0.12%
  • iShares 20+ Year Treasury Bond ETF 0.15%
  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares 0.03%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 0.05%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.10%

Finally, someone gets it — keeping costs low is key. With a total TER of 0.10%, this portfolio is tighter than a hipster's skinny jeans. It's one of the few areas where this portfolio doesn't shoot itself in the foot, proving even a broken clock is right twice a day.

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