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A portfolio that's so in love with the S&P 500 it forgot other investments exist

Report created on Jul 19, 2025

Risk profile Info

4/7
Balanced
Less risk More risk

Diversification profile Info

3/5
Moderately Diversified
Less diversification More diversification

Positions

It appears we've got a portfolio that's taken the term "put your eggs in one basket" a little too seriously with a staggering 65% in the Vanguard S&P 500 ETF. While riding the S&P 500 like it's a trusty steed might seem noble, it's more akin to betting on the same horse every race. Diversification is the spice of investment life, and this portfolio tastes blander than unseasoned chicken. It's like building a house with only a hammer; sure, you might get the job done, but it's not going to be pretty or efficient.

Growth Info

Historically, this portfolio has strutted around with its 14.09% CAGR like it's king of the world. But let's remember, even the Titanic had a band playing as it sank. A max drawdown of -22.07% is like saying, "I only occasionally catch on fire." It's not comforting. Relying heavily on the S&P 500's past performance is like driving using only the rearview mirror; it works until it doesn't. Those 27 days making up 90% of returns? That's not strategy; that's playing financial roulette and getting lucky with where the ball lands.

Projection Info

Monte Carlo simulations are like those fortune cookies you get at the end of a meal — interesting, sometimes surprising, but not always accurate. With projections ranging wildly, it's clear this portfolio swings like a pendulum in a grandfather clock. Sure, there's a chance you might end up with a 317.5% return, but there's also a reality where you're staring down the barrel of a 66% increase, wondering where your retirement went. Betting on these odds is like playing poker blindfolded; you might win big, but you're more likely to lose your shirt.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    80%
  • Cash
    15%
  • Real Estate
    5%

With 80% in stocks and a love affair with the S&P 500, this portfolio is like a teenager who discovered their first high school crush and can't think about anything else. The 15% in cash via treasury ETFs screams "I'm trying to be responsible," but it's more like keeping a fire extinguisher next to a bonfire. The 5% token gesture towards real estate is like buying a plant in an attempt to appear as an adult. This asset allocation needs a serious intervention.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    25%
  • Financials
    12%
  • Health Care
    8%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    8%
  • Industrials
    7%
  • Telecommunications
    7%
  • Real Estate
    6%
  • Consumer Staples
    5%
  • Energy
    2%
  • Utilities
    2%
  • Basic Materials
    2%

Diving into sectors, we see a 25% tech infatuation — typical of someone who thinks Silicon Valley is the center of the universe. Financial services at 12% is like having a safety net made of dental floss, and the smattering across healthcare, consumer cyclicals, and industrials feels more like an afterthought than a strategy. This sector spread has all the hallmarks of someone who watched a finance documentary and then went all in.

Regions Info

  • North America
    80%
  • Europe Developed
    2%
  • Asia Emerging
    1%
  • Japan
    1%
  • Asia Developed
    1%

With 80% in North America, this portfolio is the financial equivalent of never leaving your hometown. The world is vast, but here we are, thinking the U.S. market is the be-all and end-all. The token investments in developed Europe and emerging Asia are like saying you're worldly because you once ate at an international food court. Expanding your horizons could mean more than just a change in scenery; it could lead to better growth opportunities.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    36%
  • Large-cap
    30%
  • Mid-cap
    16%
  • Small-cap
    2%

The mega to big cap obsession here is like only eating at chain restaurants because you're afraid to try the local cuisine. Sure, it's comfortable, but it's hardly adventurous or maximizing your culinary experience. With a smidge in small and micro-caps, it's like you're acknowledging they exist but are too scared to actually engage. Variety is the spice of life, and this portfolio is currently very bland.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

The portfolio's current state versus its more efficient counterpart is like comparing a flip phone to a smartphone; both can make calls, but one clearly does it better with more features. An optimal portfolio with the same risk level boasting a 2.81% expected return is the financial advice equivalent of "You're doing it wrong." It's time to upgrade, optimize, and stop living in the investment Stone Age.

Dividends Info

  • Fidelity® MSCI Real Estate Index ETF 3.50%
  • iShares® 0-3 Month Treasury Bond ETF 4.50%
  • Vanguard Dividend Appreciation Index Fund ETF Shares 1.70%
  • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF 1.20%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 2.80%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 1.94%

The dividends here are trying to be the portfolio's saving grace, like a student who flunks every exam but aces the final in a desperate bid to pass the class. While dividends are great for income, relying on them from a heavily skewed portfolio is like betting on rain in the desert. Sure, it might happen, but it's hardly a reliable strategy.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • Fidelity® MSCI Real Estate Index ETF 0.08%
  • iShares® 0-3 Month Treasury Bond ETF 0.07%
  • Vanguard Dividend Appreciation Index Fund ETF Shares 0.06%
  • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF 0.03%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 0.05%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.04%

The one thing this portfolio gets somewhat right is keeping costs low, with a total TER of 0.04%. It's like finding a dollar on the ground; nice when it happens, but it doesn't make up for the fact that you're lost. Low costs are great, but when the overall strategy is as confused as a chameleon in a bag of Skittles, it hardly matters.

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