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A portfolio that thinks diversification means owning every Apple in the orchard and a few other fruits

Report created on Sep 8, 2025

Risk profile Info

5/7
Growth
Less risk More risk

Diversification profile Info

3/5
Moderately Diversified
Less diversification More diversification

Positions

This portfolio is like a meal consisting of 45% apples, with a side dish of everything else thrown in to pretend it's balanced. Apple Inc dominates so aggressively it's like the investor thought the tech giant was the only stock worth betting on, with a sprinkle of index funds for flavor. There's a vague attempt at diversification, but it's like putting a single leaf of lettuce next to a mountain of pie and calling it a salad. The minimal positions in Disney and Starbucks are cute, like garnishes that got lost on the way to a real investment strategy.

Growth Info

With a CAGR of 21.37%, this portfolio initially looks like it's been hitting the gym regularly, but that's mostly Apple flexing its muscles. The max drawdown of -26.02% is like discovering those muscles were mostly for show when the first real challenge hits. Relying heavily on the performance of a single stock is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded; thrilling highs, terrifying lows, and no idea when the next turn is coming. The days contributing to 90% of returns being so few indicate that most of the time, this portfolio is just sitting there, not doing much.

Projection Info

Monte Carlo simulations with a 508.7% median increase sound like fantasy football winnings, but remember, simulations are the financial equivalent of weather forecasts for next year's picnics—useful but not something to bet the house on. The wide range between the 5th and 67th percentiles suggests your portfolio could either be a ticket to early retirement or a lesson in humility. Betting heavily on Apple has worked in the past, but the future could be as unpredictable as trying to forecast fashion trends in 2050.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    98%
  • Bonds
    2%
  • Cash
    1%

Stashing 98% in stocks with a token gesture towards bonds and cash is like wearing shorts in winter because it worked out once in a mild November. The "growth" label on this portfolio must be referring to its potential volatility, not its asset class spread. This approach to risk is akin to skydiving without checking your parachute because it opened fine last time. A slight breeze, or market downturn, could turn that thrilling free fall into a lesson in gravity.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    57%
  • Financials
    8%
  • Industrials
    7%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    6%
  • Health Care
    5%
  • Telecommunications
    4%
  • Consumer Staples
    3%
  • Real Estate
    2%
  • Energy
    2%
  • Utilities
    2%
  • Basic Materials
    2%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    1%

Technology makes up 57% of this portfolio, revealing a tech addiction stronger than the world's dependency on smartphones. The other sectors seem to be there just to make technology not feel lonely. This overexposure to tech, while thrilling during bull markets, could turn sour faster than milk left out in the sun if the tech sector catches a cold. It's like building a house with only one tool; effective until you need to do anything besides hammering.

Regions Info

  • North America
    93%
  • Europe Developed
    2%
  • No data
    2%
  • Asia Emerging
    1%
  • Japan
    1%
  • Asia Developed
    1%

With 93% allocated to North America, this portfolio is the investment equivalent of refusing to eat anything that's not from your hometown diner. The minimal nods to international diversification are less about global opportunity and more about ticking a box. This geographic bias exposes you to the kind of risk that comes from assuming the rest of the world doesn't matter much, like a tourist who travels abroad and only eats at fast-food chains.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    60%
  • Mid-cap
    17%
  • Large-cap
    12%
  • Small-cap
    7%
  • Micro-cap
    1%

A 60% allocation to mega-cap stocks screams "safety first," but when nearly half of that is in one stock, it's more like "safety first, unless Apple has a new product launch." The distribution across market caps shows a preference for the giants of the business world while dabbling in mid and small caps like they're risky hobbies. This approach is akin to only dating celebrities because you think they're less likely to break your heart.

Redundant positions Info

  • VANGUARD SMALL-CAP INDEX FUND ADMIRAL SHARES
    VANGUARD MID-CAP INDEX FUND ADMIRAL SHARES
    High correlation

Having highly correlated assets in the form of various index funds might seem like diversification, but it's more akin to wearing different brands of raincoats in a storm; they might look different, but you're going to get wet either way. The overlap between the small-cap and mid-cap index funds is like buying tickets for the same movie in different theaters and expecting a different ending. It's time to trim the redundancy and actually diversify.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

The portfolio's risk-return profile is currently more wishful thinking than strategic planning. The Efficient Frontier is about finding that sweet spot where you're not picking stocks by throwing darts blindfolded. Right now, it's like aiming for the bullseye but mostly hitting the wall. Reducing the Apple overload and the correlated asset redundancy would be a good start towards actually aiming for that dartboard.

Dividends Info

  • Apple Inc 0.40%
  • Walt Disney Company 0.80%
  • Starbucks Corporation 2.90%
  • iShares® 0-3 Month Treasury Bond ETF 4.40%
  • Schwab S&P 500 Index Fund 1.10%
  • Vanguard Total Bond Market Index Fund Admiral Shares 3.80%
  • VANGUARD 500 INDEX FUND ADMIRAL SHARES 1.20%
  • VANGUARD MID-CAP INDEX FUND ADMIRAL SHARES 1.50%
  • VANGUARD SMALL-CAP INDEX FUND ADMIRAL SHARES 1.30%
  • VANGUARD TOTAL INTERNATIONAL STOCK INDEX FUND ADMIRAL SHARES 2.00%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 0.98%

The dividend yield spread across this portfolio is like finding loose change in the couch; nice to have but not going to change your life. Relying on Apple for growth and ignoring higher-yielding opportunities is like skipping meals to save room for dessert. While dividends aren't the main course here, a more balanced approach could add a steady income stream, turning this portfolio from a one-hit wonder into a chart-topping album.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • iShares® 0-3 Month Treasury Bond ETF 0.07%
  • Schwab S&P 500 Index Fund 0.02%
  • Vanguard Total Bond Market Index Fund Admiral Shares 0.04%
  • VANGUARD 500 INDEX FUND ADMIRAL SHARES 0.04%
  • VANGUARD MID-CAP INDEX FUND ADMIRAL SHARES 0.05%
  • VANGUARD SMALL-CAP INDEX FUND ADMIRAL SHARES 0.05%
  • VANGUARD TOTAL INTERNATIONAL STOCK INDEX FUND ADMIRAL SHARES 0.09%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.03%

The costs are surprisingly under control, like finding out your luxury car gets great gas mileage. With total TER at a mere 0.03%, it's one of the few areas where this portfolio doesn't seem to need an intervention. It's like managing to eat healthily at a fast-food restaurant; commendable, but let's not ignore the broader dietary choices being made here.

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