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A portfolio that's as diversified as a buffet but with the nutritional value of fast food

Report created on May 24, 2025

Risk profile Info

4/7
Balanced
Less risk More risk

Diversification profile Info

4/5
Broadly Diversified
Less diversification More diversification

Positions

At first glance, your portfolio screams "I love diversification," but it's more like you've thrown darts at an ETF board while blindfolded. With 60% in a world ETF, 25% in emerging markets, and a random 15% in European real estate, it's like you're trying to bake a cake with only sugar, spice, and nothing nice. The attempt at geographical and sectoral spread is commendable, but the execution feels like you've mixed genres in a playlist without caring if they harmonize.

Growth Info

With a CAGR of 7.74%, it seems like your portfolio is trying to run a marathon with weights tied to its ankles. That max drawdown of -34.07% is like a horror movie jump scare you didn't see coming. It's a stark reminder that volatility is not just a buzzword but a real gut punch when the markets decide to throw a tantrum. The fact that 90% of your returns come from 21 days is like banking on winning the lottery for retirement.

Projection Info

The Monte Carlo simulation, with its fancy 1,000 different scenarios, essentially says you might end up anywhere from eating canned beans in retirement to dining on caviar. A 5th percentile outcome of -42.7% is a chilling reminder that the market doesn't care about your feelings, while the median scenario suggests you might just make it to mediocrity. Remember, simulations are great at showing possibilities, not guarantees.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    99%
  • Other
    1%

With 99% in stocks, your portfolio is like a diet consisting entirely of meat — high reward but equally high risk. The negligible 1% in "Other" is so mysterious it's practically mythical. This over-reliance on equities screams that you're either blissfully unaware of the benefits of diversification across asset classes or you're just a thrill-seeker who enjoys financial rollercoasters.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    20%
  • Real Estate
    17%
  • Financials
    16%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    9%
  • Industrials
    8%
  • Health Care
    8%
  • Telecommunications
    7%
  • Consumer Staples
    5%
  • Basic Materials
    4%
  • Energy
    3%
  • Utilities
    2%

Your sector allocation is like having a favorite child, with technology, real estate, and financial services taking up over half of your portfolio's affection. This heavy tilt towards high-volatility sectors is akin to betting on red at the roulette table — exhilarating when it works out, but a recipe for heartache when it doesn't. Diversification across sectors doesn't mean loading up on the ones that have shiny, high-growth prospects and ignoring the rest.

Regions Info

  • North America
    45%
  • Europe Developed
    25%
  • Asia Emerging
    13%
  • Asia Developed
    7%
  • Japan
    3%
  • Africa/Middle East
    3%
  • Latin America
    2%
  • Australasia
    1%
  • Europe Emerging
    1%

The geographic allocation is like saying you love to travel but only ever visiting Disneyland. With 45% in North America and a heavy bias towards developed markets, it's clear you prefer the well-trodden path. Emerging markets get a nod, but it's more of a token gesture than a real commitment. This approach may limit your exposure to global growth opportunities and increase your vulnerability to regional downturns.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    40%
  • Large-cap
    30%
  • Mid-cap
    24%
  • Small-cap
    4%

Your market cap allocation is like building a sports team entirely out of veterans and rookies, with a heavy lean on the former. With 40% in mega, 30% in big, and a sprinkle of medium, small, and no micro-caps, you're playing it safe but also missing out on the growth potential of smaller companies. It's a conservative strategy that might not score you the growth goals you're aiming for.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

Your portfolio's attempt at optimization is like trying to fit a square peg in a round hole — it's not quite there. The Efficient Frontier is all about getting the best returns for the least risk, but your mix seems to be playing it by ear rather than following a harmonious tune. It's as if you've chosen your investments based on a mix of horoscope readings and dart throws, rather than a thoughtful analysis of risk versus return.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • Xtrackers FTSE Developed Europe Real Estate UCITS ETF 1C 0.33%
  • iShares Core MSCI World UCITS ETF USD (Acc) 0.20%
  • iShares Core MSCI Emerging Markets IMI UCITS 0.18%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.21%

The total expense ratio (TER) of 0.21% is the one place where you're not bleeding money, which is surprising given the rest of the portfolio's "go big or go home" theme. It's like finding out the flashy sports car you bought actually has decent fuel efficiency — a welcome anomaly in an otherwise high-stakes game.

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