Roast mode 🔥

Efficiently constructed yawn this globally sensible but unambitious index smoothie could try a little harder

Report created on May 30, 2026

Risk profile Info

4/7
Balanced
Less risk More risk

Diversification profile Info

4/5
Broadly Diversified
Less diversification More diversification

This portfolio is the investing equivalent of ordering “water” at a cocktail bar: pure, sensible, and a little boring. It’s basically one giant US total market fund bolted to an almost-duplicate pair of international funds. Functionally you’ve built a two-fund portfolio and then stapled on an ETF share class of something you already own. Diversification exists, but in the laziest possible way: “own everything, twice if necessary.” The structure is clean, but also deeply uncreative. It works, sure, but there’s zero nuance—no deliberate tilts, no actual choices, just a big shrug toward the global market and a printout that screams “default option.”

Growth Info

Historically, the portfolio did fine but not impressive enough to brag about at parties. Turning $1,000 into $3,313 over ten years with a 12.76% CAGR is solid on paper, but the US market left it behind with 15.54%. You basically paid in performance for the privilege of being globally diversified. Max drawdown at -34.33% was nearly identical to the benchmarks, so when things got ugly, this didn’t cushion much—just fell in a more cultured, internationally aware way. It’s a reminder that diversification doesn’t mean less pain in every crash; sometimes it just means underperforming the hot market while still getting slapped around.

Projection Info

The Monte Carlo projection is like a weather forecast that mostly says “expect clouds, maybe sun, maybe storms.” A $1,000 stake most likely crawls to around $2,820 over 15 years, with a wide range from “barely above cash” to “pleasant surprise.” Monte Carlo just runs thousands of random future paths based on past volatility and returns, like rolling dice with your portfolio 1,000 times. An 8.14% average annual return across simulations sounds nice, but the 5–95% spread from $964 to $7,955 is the punchline: this beautifully diversified blob is still fully capable of going nowhere for a decade and calling it “long-term investing.”

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    100%

Asset class breakdown: 100% stocks, 0% imagination. For something labeled “Balanced Investors” with a 4/7 risk score, this is just an equity rocket with the safety features ripped out. No bonds, no cash buffer, no diversifying assets—just a full send into global equities. That’s great when markets behave and absolutely unforgiving when they don’t. Calling this “balanced” is like calling a black coffee with a sugar packet nearby a “latte.” The asset mix makes one thing painfully clear: all the risk and all the return here rides on the global stock market showing up to work every single year.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    26%
  • Financials
    17%
  • Industrials
    13%
  • Health Care
    8%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    8%
  • Telecommunications
    7%
  • Consumer Staples
    5%
  • Basic Materials
    5%
  • Energy
    4%
  • Utilities
    3%
  • Real Estate
    3%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    1%

Sector exposure is basically “hug the global benchmark and hope capitalism keeps functioning.” Tech leads at 26%, then financials and industrials trail behind. Nothing outrageously concentrated, but nothing thoughtful either—just whatever the world market happens to look like. The irony is this supposedly diversified mix still leans heavily on a few big economic engines: if global tech or financials catch a cold, the whole portfolio sneezes. You’re not making any deliberate sector bets, which is fine, but also means the sector profile is just a mirror of the world, not a choice you actually made.

Regions Info

  • North America
    54%
  • Europe Developed
    18%
  • Asia Developed
    8%
  • Japan
    8%
  • Asia Emerging
    7%
  • Australasia
    2%
  • Africa/Middle East
    2%
  • Latin America
    1%

Geographically, this portfolio is one of the few that doesn’t scream “America or bust,” which is a low bar but still a win. Around 54% in North America with the rest dripped across Europe, Japan, developed Asia, and a tiny garnish of emerging markets. It’s almost suspiciously reasonable. The catch is that “own the whole world” also means owning all the messes: political drama, currency risk, and the occasional market that takes a decade-long nap. This isn’t a patriotic home-bias disaster, but it is totally hostage to how global capitalism averages out, good and bad all rolled together.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    44%
  • Large-cap
    30%
  • Mid-cap
    18%
  • Small-cap
    5%
  • Micro-cap
    1%

Market cap exposure is basically a love letter to giants. With 44% in mega-caps and another 30% in large-caps, the portfolio mostly worships the biggest companies on earth, with mid, small, and micro caps tossed in like seasoning. This is standard for total market funds, but let’s not pretend “owning everything” means equal opportunity—small and micro caps are more like background extras in a blockbuster starring the megacaps. The result: performance is overwhelmingly driven by the global behemoths, while the smaller names mostly just add a bit of noise and a marketing line about “broad diversification.”

True holdings Info

  • Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Co. Ltd.
    0.64%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Samsung Electronics Co Ltd
    0.27%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
  • ASML Holding N.V.
    0.21%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
  • SK Hynix Inc
    0.18%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Tencent Holdings Ltd
    0.14%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
  • HSBC Holdings PLC
    0.12%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Alibaba Group Holding Ltd
    0.11%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Roche Holding AG
    0.11%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
  • AstraZeneca PLC
    0.11%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Novartis AG
    0.11%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Top 10 total 2.00%

Look-through holdings reveal almost nothing shocking, mostly because the coverage is tiny and the funds are index behemoths. TSMC, Samsung, ASML, Tencent, and a parade of big pharma names show up in small doses, which tells you one thing: this portfolio quietly rides on a handful of global titans without ever admitting it. And that’s just from top-10 ETF data, so real overlap is much higher. It’s a reminder that “thousands of holdings” often boils down to the same few giants showing up in costume changes across every fund and doing most of the heavy lifting.

Factors Info

Value
Preference for undervalued stocks
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Size
Exposure to smaller companies
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Momentum
Exposure to recently outperforming stocks
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Quality
Preference for financially healthy companies
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Yield
Preference for dividend-paying stocks
Low
Data availability: 100%
Low Volatility
Preference for stable, lower-risk stocks
High
Data availability: 100%

Factor exposure here is aggressively average, like a student who aims for a 3.0 GPA and nails it. Value, size, momentum, and quality all hover around neutral—no real bets, no strong tilts, just pure market beta with a side of “don’t blame me, blame the index.” The one notable trait is slightly higher low volatility and a weak tilt toward yield. So it quietly favors slightly calmer names while not really caring about income. Factor investing is like checking the flavor profile of your portfolio; this one tastes like plain vanilla, maybe with a splash of skim milk for the low-vol twist.

Risk contribution Info

  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund Admiral Shares
    Weight: 50.00%
    53.3%
  • VANGUARD TOTAL INTERNATIONAL STOCK INDEX FUND ADMIRAL SHARES
    Weight: 33.33%
    30.3%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
    Weight: 16.67%
    16.4%

Risk contribution is as straightforward as the holdings list: the US total market fund is half the weight and slightly more than half the risk. The two international sleeves split the rest almost proportionately. No secret wild child here—just the main US fund doing most of the work and taking most of the heat. Risk/weight ratios hug 1.0, which means there’s no sneaky position punching above its weight in volatility. It’s almost disappointingly tidy. For anyone hoping to blame one rogue holding for future drama, bad news: when this thing swings, it’s a team effort, led by the giant US core.

Redundant positions Info

  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
    VANGUARD TOTAL INTERNATIONAL STOCK INDEX FUND ADMIRAL SHARES
    High correlation

Correlation-wise, the two international positions move almost identically, because they are basically the same fund wearing different wrappers. That redundancy means the portfolio pretends to have three holdings but functionally operates like two: US and non-US. Highly correlated funds don’t diversify each other much in a crash; they just fall in sync, only in different line colors on the chart. This is more administrative complexity than economic variety. You’re not getting an extra risk buffer from the duplication—just another line item and a great example of how owning “more funds” doesn’t always mean owning more actual diversification.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

On the efficient frontier, this portfolio actually behaves itself, which is mildly annoying for roasting purposes. With a Sharpe ratio of 0.56, it’s below the max-Sharpe mix at 0.8 but sits right on or near the frontier given its holdings. Translation: for the level of chaos (16.67% volatility), it’s not wasting much potential. Still, the max-Sharpe version squeezes out higher return for slightly more risk, and even the minimum-variance option beats it on Sharpe. So it’s efficient but not heroic—like a student who sits in the front row, does the homework, and never once tries for extra credit.

Dividends Info

  • VANGUARD TOTAL INTERNATIONAL STOCK INDEX FUND ADMIRAL SHARES 2.60%
  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund Admiral Shares 1.00%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 2.70%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 1.82%

Dividend yield at 1.82% is basically the portfolio mumbling “income” under its breath. The US sleeve drags it down with a 1.0% yield while the international pieces do more of the income heavy lifting in the 2.6–2.7% range. This isn’t a cash-flow machine; it’s a growth-first setup that just happens to sprinkle in some payouts along the way. Relying on this for serious income would feel like trying to live off the free snacks at a conference—nice to have, but you’re clearly not here for the buffet. Most of the story is price returns, not the dividend stream.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • VANGUARD TOTAL INTERNATIONAL STOCK INDEX FUND ADMIRAL SHARES 0.09%
  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund Admiral Shares 0.04%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 0.05%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.06%

Costs are the one area where this portfolio is almost smugly excellent. A blended TER of 0.06% is so low it’s hard to complain with a straight face. The US core at 0.04% and international options at 0.09% and 0.05% are basically paying Vanguard couch-cushion money to run a global equity empire. This is the good kind of boring: fees so low they’re not the excuse for anything. If performance lags, it’s not because of cost drag; it’s because the portfolio chose to hug the global market instead of chasing winners. Fees are under control—you accidentally did this part extremely right.

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