A masterclass in putting all your eggs in one basket then watching the basket
Report created on Sep 3, 2025Risk profile
5/7
Diversification profile
2/5
Positions
-
VO Vanguard S&P 500 ETF
VOO - US9229083632 75.00% -
VT Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
VTI - US9229087690 15.00% -
VT Vanguard Russell 2000 Index Fund ETF Shares
VTWO - US92206C6646 10.00%
With 75% in an S&P 500 ETF and the rest in similarly flavored ETFs, this portfolio screams, "I heard diversification is good, so I diversified across indexes that track almost the same thing." It's like buying different brands of plain white socks and thinking you've diversified your wardrobe. The mix suggests a belief in the immortal dominance of large-cap U.S. stocks, with a sprinkling of small caps for 'spice'. It's akin to adding a single pepper flake to a gallon of vanilla ice cream and calling it a sundae.
Growth
Historical performance might look like a dream at 14.78% CAGR, but remember, past performance is like relying on yesterday's weather forecast for today's picnic. Sure, it's been sunny, but that max drawdown of -34.74% is like a sudden thunderstorm on your parade. And with 90% of returns concentrated in just 33 days, it's more like playing the lottery than investing. Betting big on few sunny days without preparing for the inevitable storms might leave this portfolio soaking wet.
Projection
The Monte Carlo simulation, with its fancy way of predicting future performance by making thousands of educated guesses, paints a rosy picture at the 50th percentile. But remember, Monte Carlo is also famous for its casino, and relying solely on these projections is a bit like gambling. The projection showing a potential 455.2% increase at the median scenario sounds great until you remember it's just one possible outcome in a sea of uncertainty.
Asset classes
- Stocks 100%
Sticking to 100% stocks is like saying, "I love roller coasters," and then only riding the ones with the highest drops. Stocks, especially U.S. large-caps, can offer thrilling highs but also stomach-churning lows. Ignoring bonds, real estate, or even a smidge of cash for stability is like refusing to wear a seatbelt because you've never been in a crash.
Sectors
- Technology 32%
- Financials 14%
- Consumer Discretionary 11%
- Health Care 10%
- Telecommunications 9%
- Industrials 9%
- Consumer Staples 5%
- Energy 3%
- Real Estate 3%
- Utilities 2%
- Basic Materials 2%
The tech sector's overweight at 32% is like having a diet that's one-third pizza — enjoyable until health issues arise. Financial services and consumer cyclicals follow, making the portfolio's sector allocation look like someone trying to recreate the economy's greatest hits playlist. This tech-heavy tilt subjects the portfolio to the whims of a single sector's performance, which can be as volatile as a pop star's career.
Regions
- North America 99%
With 99% in North America, this portfolio has the geographic diversity of a fast-food menu — sure, there are different options, but it's all pretty much the same fare. Ignoring the rest of the world's markets is like refusing to eat any cuisine outside of your hometown diner. The global economy offers a buffet of opportunities, and this portfolio is stuck in the drive-thru.
Market capitalization
- Mega-cap 41%
- Large-cap 31%
- Mid-cap 16%
- Small-cap 6%
- Micro-cap 5%
The dominance of mega and big caps at 72% combined is like only watching blockbuster movies and missing out on indie films. Sure, you'll catch some great performances, but the lack of small and micro-cap investments means missing out on potentially higher growth (and risk, admittedly). It's a conservative play in a portfolio that's otherwise dressed up as aggressive.
Redundant positions
-
High correlationVanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF SharesVanguard S&P 500 ETF
Having Vanguard's S&P 500 and Total Stock Market ETFs in the same portfolio for diversification is like buying two different brands of plain vanilla ice cream and expecting a taste difference. Their high correlation means when one sneezes, the other catches a cold. It's the illusion of diversification — more of a magic trick than a strategy.
Risk vs. return
This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.
Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.
The recommendation to remove overlapping assets for a more efficient portfolio is like being told to diversify your diet beyond pizza and ice cream. A potential return increase to 15.26% with the same risk level sounds great, but remember, efficiency in investing isn't just about boosting returns. It's about not putting all your eggs, or in this case, stocks, in one basket.
Dividends
- Vanguard S&P 500 ETF 1.20%
- Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares 1.20%
- Vanguard Russell 2000 Index Fund ETF Shares 1.20%
- Weighted yield (per year) 1.20%
A uniform dividend yield of 1.20% across the board is like getting a participation trophy; it's nice, but it won't make you a champion. In a high-growth, high-risk portfolio, dividends play second fiddle to capital gains. They're the financial equivalent of finding loose change in the couch — a small bonus, not a strategy.
Ongoing product costs
- Vanguard S&P 500 ETF 0.03%
- Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares 0.03%
- Vanguard Russell 2000 Index Fund ETF Shares 0.10%
- Weighted costs total (per year) 0.04%
The one thing this portfolio gets right is keeping costs low, with a total expense ratio (TER) of just 0.04%. It's like finding a no-fee ATM in a tourist trap; surprisingly sensible amidst otherwise questionable decisions. Low costs are commendable, but when the investment strategy is this narrowly focused, it's like saving pennies on the Titanic's deck chairs.
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