Roast mode 🔥

This portfolio is like a comfy recliner that's seen better days: comfortable but could use some updating

Report created on Aug 19, 2025

Risk profile Info

4/7
Balanced
Less risk More risk

Diversification profile Info

3/5
Moderately Diversified
Less diversification More diversification

Positions

Diving into this portfolio, it's like someone tried to build a diversified portfolio, got halfway through, and then got distracted by shiny stocks. With heavy bets on individual stocks like Broadcom and Realty Income, alongside a mix of balanced and dividend-focused funds, it's like mixing diet soda with a triple cheeseburger in the name of health. There’s a semblance of balance, but it leans heavily on the equity side, making it feel like a tightrope walker with a penchant for looking down.

Growth Info

With a historical CAGR of 15.90%, this portfolio has been sprinting like Usain Bolt in a marathon. Impressive, but let’s not forget the -33.88% max drawdown, which is like enjoying a roller coaster ride until you realize your seatbelt’s unbuckled. Those 40 days making up 90% of returns? That’s less investing strategy and more playing financial roulette.

Projection Info

Monte Carlo simulations have spoken, and the future's a wild ride with outcomes swinging from -57.7% to a whopping 343.5%. It's like forecasting weather for the next year based on yesterday’s rain; interesting but take it with a grain of salt. These projections show the portfolio could be a boom or bust, suggesting you might either be toasting on a yacht or fishing for spare change.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    92%
  • Bonds
    7%
  • Cash
    1%

Stocks dominate at 92%, with bonds barely making a cameo at 7%. This allocation is like going to a buffet and only eating dessert – delightful but bound to cause problems. The 1% in cash? That’s just the loose change found under the couch cushions. This heavy equity tilt is great for growth but brace for the stomach-churning volatility.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    31%
  • Real Estate
    14%
  • Industrials
    13%
  • Health Care
    8%
  • Financials
    8%
  • Telecommunications
    8%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    6%
  • Consumer Staples
    4%
  • Energy
    3%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    2%
  • Utilities
    2%
  • Basic Materials
    1%

Tech's massive 31% slice of the pie suggests a strong belief in Silicon Valley fairy tales, while real estate and industrials get honorable mentions. This sector spread is like betting on black, red, and green in roulette, hoping tech doesn’t land on zero. It's a tech-heavy gamble that overlooks the stability diversified sectors can offer, making the portfolio susceptible to sector-specific downturns.

Regions Info

  • North America
    94%
  • Europe Developed
    4%
  • Japan
    1%

With 94% in North America, it’s clear this portfolio subscribes to the ‘home country bias’ magazine. It’s like traveling abroad but only eating at McDonald’s. The tiny nibbles in Europe and Japan are like sending a postcard home - it’s the thought that counts, but it's not really immersing you in global opportunities.

Market capitalization Info

  • Large-cap
    44%
  • Mega-cap
    32%
  • Mid-cap
    13%
  • Small-cap
    2%
  • Micro-cap
    1%

Big and mega-cap companies make up the lion's share, which is like trusting your entire diet to potatoes and bread. Sure, they're filling and reliable, but where are the veggies (mid-caps) and spices (small-caps) to keep things interesting? This heavy tilt towards large caps suggests a play-it-safe strategy, potentially missing out on the growth spurts of smaller firms.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

Speaking of efficiency, this portfolio swings like a pendulum between savvy ETF picks and high-stake individual stocks. The Efficient Frontier might send a search party for this portfolio, as it's wandering off the path of optimal risk-return trade-offs. It’s like trying to balance on a seesaw alone; possible, but you’ll have to run back and forth a lot.

Dividends Info

  • Advance Auto Parts Inc 1.80%
  • Broadcom Inc 0.80%
  • Realty Income Corporation 5.50%
  • SCHWAB BALANCED FUND INVESTOR SHARES 2.20%
  • United Parcel Service Inc 7.60%
  • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF 1.20%
  • Vanguard High Dividend Yield Index Fund ETF Shares 2.60%
  • Verizon Communications Inc 6.10%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 2.91%

The dividend yield hovers around 2.91%, which isn't shabby, akin to finding a decent interest rate in a world of savings account pennies. It's a nice cushion or a gentle pat on the back in turbulent times, but leaning too heavily on a few high-yielders for this comfort could be like trusting a leaky umbrella in a downpour - helpful until it isn’t.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • SCHWAB BALANCED FUND INVESTOR SHARES 0.51%
  • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF 0.03%
  • Vanguard High Dividend Yield Index Fund ETF Shares 0.06%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.12%

The costs are a mixed bag, with the SCHWAB fund chewing up more fees than a hungry termite in a lumber yard, while the Vanguard ETFs are as cost-effective as a dollar store shopping spree. TotalTER at 0.12% isn't bad, but remember, even small leaks can sink a great ship over time. It’s like being careful with your diet and then binging on cake every weekend.

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