This portfolio has only about 1.6 years of historical data, based on the youngest asset in the portfolio. Some metrics, projections, and AI insights may be less reliable and should be interpreted with caution.
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A love letter to tech and big names with a side of Bitcoin for dessert

Report created on Aug 9, 2025

Risk profile Info

5/7
Growth
Less risk More risk

Diversification profile Info

3/5
Moderately Diversified
Less diversification More diversification

Positions

Let's start with the composition, shall we? With 40% parked in an S&P 500 ETF, it's like saying you're adventurous but then vacationing in your backyard. Adding a 20% splash of small-cap value and another 20% in S&P 500 momentum is like adding a dash of spice to an otherwise bland meal, hoping nobody will notice. The international exposure and tech tilt are like remembering you have friends overseas and sending them a postcard once a year. And Bitcoin? That's the cherry on top of a "diversified" cake that seems baked with a recipe from 2017.

Growth Info

The historic performance boasts a CAGR of 24.70%, which, on the surface, looks like you've struck gold. But remember, even a broken clock is right twice a day. With days that make up 90% of returns totaling a mere 12, this portfolio is less about strategic investment and more about getting lucky on a handful of days. It's like winning at roulette and thinking you've cracked the code.

Projection Info

Monte Carlo simulations might sound sophisticated, like predicting the future with a crystal ball, but they're really just educated guesses. Your portfolio's projections, with returns ranging wildly from 717.7% to 4,677.0%, suggest you're more likely to encounter unicorns than consistent results. Betting the farm on such optimistic simulations is like planning retirement based on lottery winnings — hopeful, but not exactly prudent.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    95%
  • Other
    5%

With 95% in stocks and a mysterious 5% in "other" (hello, Bitcoin), your asset class distribution is like wearing a raincoat and flip-flops in a storm — mostly protected but inexplicably exposed. The complete absence of bonds or real estate in any meaningful capacity leaves you vulnerable to stock market whims. It's a high-octane ride without a safety harness.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    27%
  • Financials
    17%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    12%
  • Industrials
    10%
  • Telecommunications
    8%
  • Consumer Staples
    6%
  • Health Care
    6%
  • Energy
    5%
  • Basic Materials
    3%
  • Utilities
    2%
  • Real Estate
    1%

The sector allocation has its own set of quirks, with a heavy lean on technology at 27%. It's like building a house with all the weight on one side; it might stand, but it'll make you nervous in strong winds. Financial services and consumer cyclicals follow, suggesting a love affair with volatile sectors that could lead to a dramatic breakup in a downturn.

Regions Info

  • North America
    85%
  • Europe Developed
    4%
  • Asia Emerging
    2%
  • Japan
    2%
  • Asia Developed
    1%

Geographically, it's America or bust, apparently, with an 85% allocation. The token nod to international diversification feels like adding a sprinkle of salt to a dish and calling it seasoned. Emerging markets and other global opportunities are nearly ignored, like leaving money on the table because you didn’t realize it was there.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    37%
  • Large-cap
    24%
  • Mid-cap
    12%
  • Small-cap
    11%
  • Micro-cap
    10%

Your market cap spread is a rollercoaster, from mega to micro, but with a heavy tilt towards the giants. It's like being enamored with celebrities while ignoring the indie artists who could be the next big thing. This approach might miss out on growth opportunities in the scrappy underdogs of the investment world.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

On the Efficient Frontier, this portfolio is like a drunk wandering home — it might get there, but it's not the optimal path. The risk-return trade-off appears more like a gamble than a strategy, suggesting a need for a sober reassessment of where it's going and how it plans to get there.

Dividends Info

  • Avantis® U.S. Small Cap Value ETF 1.70%
  • SPDR® Portfolio S&P 500 ETF 1.20%
  • Invesco S&P 500® Momentum ETF 0.60%
  • Vanguard Information Technology Index Fund ETF Shares 0.50%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 2.80%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 1.24%

With a total yield of 1.24%, your portfolio's dividend strategy is like finding loose change in the couch — nice to have but not going to change your life. It seems dividends are an afterthought, overshadowed by the allure of growth and the siren song of Bitcoin.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • Avantis® U.S. Small Cap Value ETF 0.25%
  • Fidelity Wise Origin Bitcoin Trust 0.25%
  • SPDR® Portfolio S&P 500 ETF 0.02%
  • Invesco S&P 500® Momentum ETF 0.13%
  • Vanguard Information Technology Index Fund ETF Shares 0.10%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 0.05%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.11%

The costs are surprisingly mild, with a TotalTER of 0.11%. In a world where fees can eat into profits like a termite, you've managed to keep the pests at bay. This is one of the few areas where the portfolio doesn't overplay its hand, like ordering a salad at a steakhouse because you know the bill is already going to be hefty.

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