Roast mode 🔥

Two index funds one personality zero originality but at least nothing is obviously on fire

Report created on Apr 2, 2026

Risk profile

  • Secure
    Speculative

The risk profile, derived from past market volatility, reflects the level of risk the portfolio is exposed to. This assessment helps align your investments with your financial goals and comfort with market fluctuations.

Diversification profile

  • Focused
    Diversified

The diversification assessment evaluates the spread of investments across asset classes, regions, and sectors. This ensures a balanced mix, reducing risk and maximizing returns by not concentrating in any single area.

What type of investor this portfolio is suitable for

Balanced Investors

This setup suits someone who wants growth, hates complexity, and is willing to ride out some serious turbulence. Think long time horizon, decent risk tolerance, and zero interest in micromanaging sectors or cherry-picking stocks. The personality here is “I’ll do the boring right thing and then go live my life,” not “I want to tinker every weekend.” Goals are likely big-picture: retirement, long-term wealth, generational money — not short-term flexing. It fits someone who can watch a 30–35% drawdown and respond with irritation, not panic, and who believes capitalism will mostly muddle upward over decades.

Positions

This “portfolio” is basically a cardboard box with two giant index funds thrown in: 80% total US stocks and 20% total international. That’s it. No bonds no nuance no artistic flair. It’s the Costco bulk pack of investing: effective but hilariously plain. The structure screams “I read one Boglehead post and stopped there,” which honestly is not the worst life choice. The upside is clarity: you know exactly what this is trying to do. The downside is zero customization. Takeaway: as a core, this is solid; as a complete expression of your financial soul, it’s… minimalistic.

Growth Info

Performance-wise this thing did well but not heroically. Turning $1,000 into $3,264 is nothing to complain about, but the US market did better, with a higher CAGR and roughly the same gut-punch drawdown. CAGR (compound annual growth rate) is basically “average speed of growth,” and you’ve been driving slightly under the fast lane of US stocks while still hitting the same potholes. You did beat the global market though, so you’re not a slouch, just not maxing the “USA cheerleader” setting. Takeaway: you accepted full-equity pain but didn’t quite squeeze out full-equity US-only gain.

Projection Info

The Monte Carlo projection basically says, “You’ll probably be fine, but don’t get cocky.” Monte Carlo is just a fancy way of running thousands of what-if futures using past-like randomness instead of pretending we can see the future. Median outcome: $1,000 grows to about $2,838 in 15 years. But the range is wild: around $910 on the low side and $7,910 on the high side. That’s the price of living 100% in stocks. Past data is yesterday’s weather, not prophecy, but the overall story is clear: long term, odds are in your favor if you can stomach the roller coaster.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    100%

Asset classes: 100% stocks, 0% everything else. This is not a “balanced” portfolio; it’s a stock maximalist with a fake ID pretending to be moderate. Calling this “Balanced Investors” is like calling black coffee a latte because you thought about milk once. No bonds, no cash buffer, no stabilizers. Great if the goal is maximum long-term growth and you don’t mind seeing your account occasionally look like it fell down the stairs. Takeaway: works best for long horizons and strong stomachs; less great if you care about short-term stability or sleep.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    28%
  • Financials
    14%
  • Industrials
    11%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    10%
  • Health Care
    10%
  • Telecommunications
    9%
  • Consumer Staples
    5%
  • Energy
    4%
  • Basic Materials
    3%
  • Utilities
    3%
  • Real Estate
    3%

Sector breakdown says “tech-flavored market smoothie.” About 28% in technology, then a fairly even smear across financials, industrials, consumer stuff, health care, and so on. You’re not making any big active bets here; you’re just letting the market decide that tech is the main character. That 28% slice means when tech sneezes, your portfolio catches the flu. It’s still more sensible than YOLOing into a single theme, but don’t kid yourself: a decent chunk of your fate is tied to one broad idea doing well. Takeaway: expect mood swings when growthy stuff cycles in or out of favor.

Regions Info

  • North America
    81%
  • Europe Developed
    8%
  • Japan
    3%
  • Asia Developed
    3%
  • Asia Emerging
    3%
  • Australasia
    1%
  • Africa/Middle East
    1%

Geography: 81% North America. So yes, this is “global” the way a US airport food court is “international cuisine.” You’ve got small sprinkles in Europe, Japan, Asia, and the rest, but the US is clearly in the driver’s seat, yelling directions. The good news: this actually aligns with global market weights pretty well, not some unhinged regional bet. The bad news: if US stocks go through a decade-long sulk, you’re going to feel it more than a truly balanced global mix. Takeaway: sensible for a US-based investor, but let’s not pretend it’s geographically agnostic.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    42%
  • Large-cap
    31%
  • Mid-cap
    19%
  • Small-cap
    6%
  • Micro-cap
    2%

Market cap exposure is strongly tilted to mega and large caps: 42% mega, 31% large. You’ve basically said, “Give me the corporate equivalents of blue whales plus some smaller fish for flavor.” There is a token 8% in small and micro caps, but it’s not exactly a bold tilt. That means you behave a lot like the broad market: not super aggressive, not super spicy, just size-neutral. Takeaway: don’t expect lottery-ticket small-cap behavior here. You signed up for the large, established crowd with just enough small stuff to say you tried.

True holdings Info

  • NVIDIA Corporation
    4.94%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Apple Inc
    4.71%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Microsoft Corporation
    3.53%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Amazon.com Inc
    2.44%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Alphabet Inc Class A
    2.19%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Broadcom Inc
    1.82%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Alphabet Inc Class C
    1.73%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Meta Platforms Inc.
    1.70%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Tesla Inc
    1.38%
    Part of fund(s):
    • LS 1x Tesla Tracker ETP Securities GBP
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Berkshire Hathaway Inc
    1.10%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Top 10 total 25.54%

The look-through holdings page reads like a roll call of the Magnificent Everything: Nvidia, Apple, Microsoft, Amazon, Alphabet, Meta, Tesla, Berkshire. You didn’t stock-pick them, you outsourced your stock-picking to capitalism itself. Overlap is high because both funds love the same megacaps, so you’ve got a hidden “Big Tech and Friends” overlay whether you meant to or not. Since we only see ETF top 10s, real overlap is even higher under the surface. Takeaway: you’re not diversified away from the market leaders; you are the market leaders, just with extra packaging.

Factors Info

Value
Preference for undervalued stocks
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Size
Exposure to smaller companies
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Momentum
Exposure to recently outperforming stocks
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Quality
Preference for financially healthy companies
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Yield
Preference for dividend-paying stocks
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Low Volatility
Preference for stable, lower-risk stocks
Neutral
Data availability: 100%

Factor profile: aggressively boring in a good way. Value, size, momentum, quality, yield, low volatility — all sitting near neutral, like a student who gets straight Bs without trying. Factor exposure is basically the ingredients list for what drives returns; you’ve chosen “whatever the market is doing, I’ll have that.” The upside: you’re not accidentally flooring the gas on momentum or bailing on quality. The downside: there’s zero deliberate edge here. Takeaway: this is a classic market-like factor spread — either very intentional or impressively lazy, but definitely not chaotic.

Risk contribution Info

  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
    Weight: 80.00%
    82.5%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
    Weight: 20.00%
    17.5%

Risk contribution is where the illusion of choice fully dies. Your US total market ETF weighs 80% but contributes over 82% of the portfolio’s risk. It’s the loud roommate; the international fund is just humming in the background. Risk contribution is about who’s causing the mood swings, not who’s just standing there. Here, the US fund is the drama queen. Trimming or shifting that weight would actually change how the portfolio behaves; tinkering with the international slice is more like rearranging throw pillows. Takeaway: if you ever want to change the ride, you touch the US fund, not the sideshow.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

On the efficient frontier, this thing is… actually pretty dialed in. The Sharpe ratio (risk-adjusted return scorecard) of 0.53 isn’t as high as the theoretical optimal 0.73, but you’re sitting right on or near the frontier. Translation: for the risk you’re taking, the mix is reasonably efficient using these two funds. You could squeeze out a bit more return for slightly more risk or lower risk for less return, but you’re not out here doing anything stupid. Takeaway: structure-wise, this is surprisingly sensible — simple, efficient, and not in need of a rescue mission.

Dividends Info

  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares 1.20%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 2.90%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 1.54%

Dividend yield at about 1.54% is not exactly “live off the income” territory. This is more like tip money, not rent money. The international slice is doing some heavy lifting at 2.9%, while the US fund is on a diet at 1.2%. But clearly this setup is not built for cash flow; it’s built for growth and reinvestment. That’s fine, just don’t pretend this is an income machine. Takeaway: if the plan involves living on dividends anytime soon, this layout is more “apprentice investor” than “retirement landlord.”

Ongoing product costs Info

  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares 0.03%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 0.05%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.03%

Costs are so low it’s almost suspicious. A 0.03% overall TER is the financial equivalent of shoplifting index exposure — you’re basically paying in pennies. This is where the portfolio quietly flexes: no fancy wrappers, no expensive “genius” manager, just dirt-cheap beta. You’ve avoided the classic “paying first-class prices to sit in economy” mistake. Takeaway: fees are one area you absolutely did not mess up. Whatever else can be roasted, cost discipline here is top-tier grown-up behavior.

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