This portfolio has only about 9 months of historical data, based on the youngest asset in the portfolio. Some metrics, projections, and AI insights may be less reliable and should be interpreted with caution.
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A hodgepodge of gold, tech, and wishful thinking masquerading as a balanced portfolio

Report created on Aug 3, 2025

Risk profile Info

4/7
Balanced
Less risk More risk

Diversification profile Info

4/5
Broadly Diversified
Less diversification More diversification

Positions

At first glance, this portfolio screams "identity crisis." With a mix ranging from the safety net of a government money market fund to the wild west of Bitcoin, it's like someone tried to bake a cake with ingredients from every aisle in the grocery store. The result? A concoction that's more confusing than a chameleon in a bag of Skittles. It's broadly diversified, sure, but it's like throwing darts blindfolded and hoping one hits the bullseye.

Growth Info

If portfolios were roller coasters, this one would be the kind that makes you regret your lunch choice. A CAGR of 37.69% is eye-watering, but let's not forget that past performance is as reliable as a weather forecast in the Sahara. With a max drawdown of -10.73% and 14 days of glory, it's like winning the lottery but forgetting where you put the ticket.

Projection Info

Monte Carlo simulations are like fortune cookies: fun to crack open but take with a grain of salt. This portfolio's future projections swing more wildly than mood swings in a soap opera. While the optimistic end has you swimming in cash Scrooge McDuck style, the range of outcomes is a stark reminder that in investing, like in weather forecasting, expect some rain even when sunshine is predicted.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    65%
  • Other
    17%
  • No data
    16%
  • Cash
    2%

With a spread across stocks, gold, and a dash of Bitcoin, it's like someone decided to play investment bingo. The "other" and "unknown" categories are particularly intriguing, like mysterious items on a gourmet menu. And with a mere 2% in cash, it's clear this portfolio isn't keeping much powder dry for a rainy day.

Sectors Info

  • Industrials
    21%
  • No data
    16%
  • Financials
    14%
  • Technology
    12%
  • Telecommunications
    4%
  • Health Care
    4%
  • Consumer Staples
    4%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    3%
  • Energy
    2%
  • Utilities
    2%
  • Basic Materials
    1%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    1%

The sector allocation here is like a kid's first attempt at a balanced diet: heavy on the sweets (industrials and financial services) and light on the greens (energy and utilities). A 21% tilt towards industrials is like betting on trains in an era of self-driving cars. Meanwhile, the tech and defense bets are like owning a racehorse and a tortoise and hoping one of them will win the race.

Regions Info

  • North America
    47%
  • No data
    16%
  • Europe Developed
    13%
  • Europe Emerging
    5%
  • Asia Developed
    1%

The geographic allocation is like a game of Risk where you only really play in North America and occasionally remember there's a Europe. With 47% in North America and a timid toe-dip into Europe, it's as if the rest of the world map got lost in the mail. Emerging markets are apparently like that distant cousin you only hear from during the holidays.

Market capitalization Info

  • Large-cap
    26%
  • Mega-cap
    26%
  • No data
    16%
  • Mid-cap
    11%
  • Small-cap
    2%

The love affair with big and mega-caps is like only watching blockbuster movies and missing out on indie gems. Sure, 52% in the titans offers some safety in numbers, but the neglect of small and micro-caps is like refusing to season your food — it might sustain you, but you're missing out on the flavor.

Redundant positions Info

  • Vanguard Value Index Fund ETF Shares
    iShares Core Dividend Growth ETF
    Amplify CWP Enhanced Dividend Income ETF
    High correlation

The trio of correlated assets is like having three different apps that all do the same thing. Sure, diversification is the name of the game, but when your players are all running the same play, you're not exactly outsmarting the opposing team. It's time to consider that some of these positions might be redundant, like owning a toaster, toaster oven, and an air fryer.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

The path to optimization appears more like a suggestion than a plan. With an ideal scenario promising a 45.01% expected return, it's akin to being told you could win an Olympic medal if only you trained a bit harder. The advice to ditch overlapping assets is the equivalent of being told to stop hitting yourself — helpful, yet painfully obvious.

Dividends Info

  • iShares Core Dividend Growth ETF 2.20%
  • Amplify CWP Enhanced Dividend Income ETF 4.70%
  • iShares MSCI Poland ETF 4.20%
  • Fidelity Contrafund 0.80%
  • Fidelity® MSCI Consumer Staples Index ETF 2.20%
  • iShares Currency Hedged MSCI EAFE ETF 3.00%
  • Global X Funds 0.20%
  • Fidelity® Government Money Market Fund 3.60%
  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares 1.20%
  • Vanguard Value Index Fund ETF Shares 2.20%
  • Select STOXX Europe Aerospace & Defense ETF 0.10%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 1.75%

The dividend yield strategy here is like trying to fill a pool with a garden hose — it'll get there, but patience is key. With an overall yield of 1.75%, it's clear this portfolio is playing the long game, but one can't help wonder if there's a more efficient way to generate income without watching paint dry.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • iShares Core Dividend Growth ETF 0.08%
  • Amplify CWP Enhanced Dividend Income ETF 0.56%
  • iShares MSCI Poland ETF 0.59%
  • Fidelity Wise Origin Bitcoin Trust 0.25%
  • Fidelity Contrafund 0.63%
  • Fidelity® MSCI Consumer Staples Index ETF 0.08%
  • SPDR Gold Mini Shares 0.10%
  • iShares Currency Hedged MSCI EAFE ETF 0.35%
  • Global X Funds 0.50%
  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares 0.03%
  • Vanguard Value Index Fund ETF Shares 0.04%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.22%

In a world where fees can eat into your retirement like a termite, this portfolio's average TER of 0.22% is surprisingly palatable. It's like finding a reasonably priced meal at a Michelin-starred restaurant. However, let's not forget that even small fees can accumulate like snow on a driveway — manageable at first, but a nuisance over time.

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