Roast mode 🔥

A textbook case of playing it safe or just unimaginative index fund love affair

Report created on Aug 20, 2025

Risk profile Info

5/7
Growth
Less risk More risk

Diversification profile Info

4/5
Broadly Diversified
Less diversification More diversification

Positions

This portfolio is like a bland diet that guarantees you won't get food poisoning but also won't excite your taste buds. Splitting 50/50 between a domestic total market fund and an international index fund is textbook diversification. It's so safe, it's almost like you're preparing for retirement at 30. While it's commendable to avoid putting all your eggs in one basket, this approach lacks nuance. It's like deciding the best cuisine in the world is a mix of pizza and sushi because you've heard they're popular.

Growth Info

Historically, this portfolio has performed like a reliable sedan — gets you from point A to B without much fuss. A CAGR of 11.63% is respectable, but let's not pretend it's setting the world on fire. It's akin to bragging about a perfectly average GPA; solid, but unlikely to get you into Harvard. The max drawdown of -34.21% is a sobering reminder that even the most cautious strategies can't completely shield you from market turbulence. Remember, investing is more marathon than sprint, and sometimes those 16 days carrying 90% of your returns feel like finding a $20 bill in an old jacket — nice, but not a financial plan.

Projection Info

Monte Carlo simulations are like those choose-your-own-adventure books, but for your money. They show a range of outcomes, from "retire early" dreams to "keep your day job" realities. With a median projection of 336.7% growth, it suggests that while you might not be buying a yacht, you also won't be living in a cardboard box. However, banking on the 5th percentile at 28.9% might have you considering a side hustle. Remember, simulations are educated guesses, not crystal balls.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    99%
  • Cash
    1%

With 99% in stocks and a token 1% in cash, this portfolio screams "I read a book on investing once and it said stocks are good." While it's true that equities have historically provided solid returns, this allocation is like refusing to carry an umbrella because it only rained once last year. A smidge more complexity could provide a buffer against market downpours without sacrificing too much growth potential.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    22%
  • Financials
    19%
  • Industrials
    12%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    11%
  • Health Care
    9%
  • Telecommunications
    8%
  • Consumer Staples
    6%
  • Basic Materials
    4%
  • Energy
    4%
  • Utilities
    3%
  • Real Estate
    2%

The sector spread reads like a who's who of the S&P 500. Tech and financial services are leading the charge, making up over 40% of the portfolio. This might have been a genius move during the dot-com boom or the post-2008 recovery, but it's a bit like wearing bell-bottoms today — a tad out of date. Diversifying across sectors doesn't mean just picking the biggest slices of the pie.

Regions Info

  • North America
    54%
  • Europe Developed
    20%
  • Japan
    8%
  • Asia Emerging
    6%
  • Asia Developed
    6%
  • Australasia
    2%
  • Africa/Middle East
    2%
  • Latin America
    1%

The global allocation is a polite nod to diversification, with over half in North America and a decent sprinkle around the rest of the world. However, it feels like someone said, "I guess we need some international exposure" and then called it a day after adding a dash of Europe and Asia. It's like deciding you're worldly because you once went to a Mexican restaurant and own a pair of chopsticks.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    45%
  • Large-cap
    31%
  • Mid-cap
    16%
  • Small-cap
    3%
  • Micro-cap
    1%

The cap-weighted approach — 45% mega, 31% big, and a smattering of the rest — is like betting most of your money on the school's star athletes. Sure, they're likely to score, but sometimes the underdog surprises everyone. Ignoring smaller companies altogether is like refusing to watch indie films because you think only blockbusters can be good.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

On the Efficient Frontier, this portfolio probably sits comfortably in the "safe" zone, which is great if you're allergic to risk. However, it's a bit like always ordering the same dish at your favorite restaurant; sure, you'll likely enjoy your meal, but what are you missing out on? A little more risk could mean a lot more reward.

Dividends Info

  • FIDELITY ZERO INTERNATIONAL INDEX FUND 2.40%
  • FIDELITY ZERO TOTAL MARKET INDEX FUND 1.10%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 1.75%

The dividend yield strategy here is akin to expecting a lemonade stand to pay your mortgage. It's nice to have, but let's not pretend it's a game-changer. A yield of 1.75% is better than a poke in the eye but hardly enough to fund a lavish lifestyle. It's more "nice little bonus" than "income strategy."

What next?

Ready to invest in this portfolio?

Select a broker that fits your needs and watch for low fees to maximize your returns.

Create your own report?

Join our community!

The information provided on this platform is for informational purposes only and should not be considered as financial or investment advice. Insightfolio does not provide investment advice, personalized recommendations, or guidance regarding the purchase, holding, or sale of financial assets. The tools and content are intended for educational purposes only and are not tailored to individual circumstances, financial needs, or objectives.

Insightfolio assumes no liability for the accuracy, completeness, or reliability of the information presented. Users are solely responsible for verifying the information and making independent decisions based on their own research and careful consideration. Use of the platform should not replace consultation with qualified financial professionals.

Investments involve risks. Users should be aware that the value of investments may fluctuate and that past performance is not an indicator of future results. Investment decisions should be based on personal financial goals, risk tolerance, and independent evaluation of relevant information.

Insightfolio does not endorse or guarantee the suitability of any particular financial product, security, or strategy. Any projections, forecasts, or hypothetical scenarios presented on the platform are for illustrative purposes only and are not guarantees of future outcomes.

By accessing the services, information, or content offered by Insightfolio, users acknowledge and agree to these terms of the disclaimer. If you do not agree to these terms, please do not use our platform.

Instrument logos provided by Elbstream.

Help us improve Insightfolio

Your feedback makes a difference! Share your thoughts in our quick survey. Take the survey