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A balanced portfolio that's more vanilla than a scoop of plain ice cream

Report created on Jun 12, 2025

Risk profile Info

4/7
Balanced
Less risk More risk

Diversification profile Info

5/5
Highly Diversified
Less diversification More diversification

Positions

Diving into this portfolio is like opening a textbook to the chapter on "Investment 101" and finding someone took it a bit too literally. With half of the assets in a total stock market ETF, it screams safety but whispers boredom. The diversified tag is there, but it's like seasoning a gourmet meal with just salt — technically, it's seasoned, but who's applauding?

Growth Info

Historically, this portfolio has strutted around with a CAGR of 12.91%, which isn't too shabby. But let's be real: when 90% of your returns come from 23 days of trading, it's less about skill and more about being in the right place at the right time. It's like winning a marathon because you accidentally took a shortcut.

Projection Info

Monte Carlo simulations suggest this portfolio could grow between 58% and 546.2% in its 50th percentile scenario. While Monte Carlo sounds fancy — like a high-roller betting it all on black — it's basically a fancy way of saying, "We're making educated guesses here." Remember, simulations are as predictive as your horoscope; take it with a grain of salt.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    82%
  • Cash
    16%
  • Real Estate
    2%

With 82% in stocks, this portfolio is like a diet consisting mainly of meat — hearty but potentially lacking in greens (bonds) and grains (alternative assets). The 16% in cash is like keeping a fire extinguisher nearby, useful but hopefully never needed. And the 2% in real estate? That's just the parsley garnish on the plate.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    20%
  • Financials
    13%
  • Health Care
    9%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    8%
  • Industrials
    8%
  • Telecommunications
    6%
  • Real Estate
    6%
  • Consumer Staples
    5%
  • Energy
    4%
  • Basic Materials
    3%
  • Utilities
    2%

A 20% tilt towards technology suggests a mild addiction to the digital age, while financial services and healthcare follow suit, creating a trio that might as well be dubbed "The Usual Suspects." It's like going to a buffet and only filling up on the first three dishes you see.

Regions Info

  • North America
    62%
  • Europe Developed
    9%
  • Japan
    4%
  • Asia Emerging
    4%
  • Asia Developed
    2%
  • Australasia
    1%
  • Africa/Middle East
    1%
  • Latin America
    1%

With 62% allocated to North America, this portfolio has a home team bias stronger than a referee in a local football match. The smattering of international exposure feels more like an afterthought than a deliberate strategy. It's the investment equivalent of saying, "I love travel" because you once went to Canada.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    33%
  • Large-cap
    27%
  • Mid-cap
    17%
  • Small-cap
    5%
  • Micro-cap
    1%

The mega and big-cap focus (60% combined) means this portfolio prefers the safety of the shore over the thrill of deep-sea diving. It's like preferring blockbuster movies over indie films — safer bets, but you'll miss out on some gems.

Redundant positions Info

  • Schwab U.S. Large-Cap Growth ETF
    Invesco QQQ Trust
    High correlation
  • Vanguard International High Dividend Yield Index Fund ETF Shares
    Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
    High correlation

Highly correlated assets in this portfolio are like buying different brands of plain white T-shirts — they might look slightly different, but you're essentially wearing the same thing every day. Diversification, in this case, is more illusion than reality.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

Before trying to optimize this portfolio for efficiency, addressing the elephant in the room — overlapping investments — is crucial. It's like cleaning out your fridge; get rid of the expired stuff before buying new groceries. Efficiency isn't just about adding; sometimes, it's about subtracting.

Dividends Info

  • Invesco QQQ Trust 0.60%
  • Schwab U.S. Dividend Equity ETF 3.90%
  • Schwab U.S. Large-Cap Growth ETF 0.40%
  • iShares® 0-3 Month Treasury Bond ETF 4.60%
  • Vanguard Real Estate Index Fund ETF Shares 4.00%
  • Vanguard Global ex-U.S. Real Estate Index Fund ETF Shares 4.50%
  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares 1.30%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 2.90%
  • Vanguard International High Dividend Yield Index Fund ETF Shares 4.10%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 2.39%

A total yield of 2.39% isn't going to have you swimming in cash like Scrooge McDuck, but it's not pocket change either. It's more like finding a $20 bill in your winter coat from last year — a nice surprise, but don't quit your day job.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • Invesco QQQ Trust 0.20%
  • Schwab U.S. Dividend Equity ETF 0.06%
  • Schwab U.S. Large-Cap Growth ETF 0.04%
  • iShares® 0-3 Month Treasury Bond ETF 0.07%
  • Vanguard Real Estate Index Fund ETF Shares 0.12%
  • Vanguard Global ex-U.S. Real Estate Index Fund ETF Shares 0.12%
  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares 0.03%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 0.05%
  • Vanguard International High Dividend Yield Index Fund ETF Shares 0.22%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.05%

With an average TER of 0.05%, at least you're not bleeding money on fees. It's like finding a no-fee ATM; it doesn't make you rich, but it's a pleasant perk in a world that loves to nickel-and-dime.

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