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A portfolio that thinks diversification is a buffet but only eats the carbs

Report created on Aug 6, 2025

Risk profile Info

5/7
Growth
Less risk More risk

Diversification profile Info

3/5
Moderately Diversified
Less diversification More diversification

Positions

Kicking off with a portfolio that's more lopsided than a seesaw with an elephant on one end. With nearly a third parked in ultra-short-term Treasury bonds and a smattering of tech giants hogging the limelight, it's like betting on both the tortoise and the hare, but mainly the hare. The "moderately diversified" tag feels like a participation trophy here.

Growth Info

A CAGR of 20.71% is like that one friend who brags about their one good day in Vegas while conveniently forgetting their week-long losing streak. Sure, it's impressive, but those 12 days making up 90% of returns scream volatility louder than a day trader after three espressos. This performance is as stable as a house of cards in a wind tunnel.

Projection Info

Monte Carlo simulations are like those choose-your-own-adventure books, but for your money. The range from a -96.4% wipeout to a 741.4% jackpot is like saying your weekend could either be spent finding a parking spot at the mall or discovering El Dorado. Betting on such a wild swing seems less like investing and more like spinning the roulette wheel with a blindfold on.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    62%
  • Cash
    28%
  • Bonds
    10%

With 62% in stocks and a whopping 28% in cash equivalents, this portfolio has the balance of a diet consisting of steak and marshmallows. Sure, you've got your proteins and your quick energy, but where are your veggies and grains? This asset allocation could use a few more food groups.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    25%
  • Industrials
    17%
  • Telecommunications
    10%
  • Financials
    3%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    2%
  • Health Care
    1%
  • Consumer Staples
    1%
  • Basic Materials
    1%
  • Energy
    1%

Tech-heavy is an understatement; this portfolio is on a Silicon Valley diet, chugging the tech Kool-Aid with a side of industrial and communication services. It's like packing for a trip to the moon but only bringing oxygen tanks and leaving your food and water behind. Diversification across sectors is more than a suggestion; it's a survival strategy.

Regions Info

  • North America
    53%
  • Europe Developed
    5%
  • Asia Emerging
    1%
  • Japan
    1%
  • Asia Developed
    1%

Geographically, this portfolio is so heavily skewed towards North America it might as well be wearing a cowboy hat and boots. With mere crumbs thrown at the rest of the world, it's like planning a world tour but only really visiting Canada and calling it a day. The world's a big place; maybe it's time to explore a bit more.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    34%
  • Large-cap
    15%
  • Mid-cap
    9%
  • Small-cap
    3%

The mega and big cap obsession here is like only being friends with NBA players. Sure, it's glamorous and they're probably reliable, but there's a whole world of interesting people (or companies) outside of the basketball court. Dipping into more medium and small caps could add some much-needed variety to the party.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

This portfolio's approach to risk vs. return is like trying to balance on a tightrope while juggling flaming torches. Sure, it's flashy and might even work for a while, but one gust of wind (or market downturn) and it's a long way down. Striving for an efficient frontier is about finding balance, not performing circus tricks.

Dividends Info

  • Apple Inc 0.50%
  • Vanguard Total World Bond ETF 4.00%
  • Alphabet Inc Class C 0.40%
  • iShares® 0-3 Month Treasury Bond ETF 4.10%
  • Vanguard Total World Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 1.70%
  • Vanguard FTSE Emerging Markets Index Fund ETF Shares 2.80%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 1.92%

The dividend yield here is trying its best, but it's like relying on a leaky faucet to fill a swimming pool. With yields that seem more like an afterthought, this portfolio's income strategy feels like it's on a starvation diet. A more balanced approach could fatten it up.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • Vanguard Total World Bond ETF 0.05%
  • iShares® 0-3 Month Treasury Bond ETF 0.07%
  • Vanguard Total World Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 0.07%
  • Vanguard FTSE Emerging Markets Index Fund ETF Shares 0.08%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.04%

At least on the cost front, this portfolio is as lean as they come, with a Total TER that's practically on a financial fast. It's nice to see some thriftiness amidst the chaos. Like finding a perfectly good, barely scratched lottery ticket in a dumpster dive.

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