Roast mode 🔥

Almost too sensible investing where the only exciting thing is how boringly efficient it is

Report created on Apr 10, 2026

Risk profile

  • Secure
    Speculative

The risk profile, derived from past market volatility, reflects the level of risk the portfolio is exposed to. This assessment helps align your investments with your financial goals and comfort with market fluctuations.

Diversification profile

  • Focused
    Diversified

The diversification assessment evaluates the spread of investments across asset classes, regions, and sectors. This ensures a balanced mix, reducing risk and maximizing returns by not concentrating in any single area.

Positions

This portfolio is the IKEA starter kit of investing: two giant broad-market funds and absolutely nothing else. Sixty percent in a US large-cap index and forty percent in international stocks is the classic “I read one Boglehead forum post” allocation. It’s clean, simple, and honestly a little dull in how reasonable it is. No bonds, no shiny side bets, no meme-stock chaos — just pure equity exposure turned up to “permanent risk-on.” The upside: it’s easy to understand and hard to accidentally screw up. The downside: all the excitement happens in your account balance, because structurally this thing is about as spicy as plain oatmeal.

Growth Info

Historically, this portfolio grew $1,000 into $3,318, compounding at 12.78% a year — that’s serious “I don’t actually need stock-picking” energy. CAGR (Compound Annual Growth Rate) is just the smooth average speed over the whole ride. You lagged the US market by 1.80% a year but beat the global market by 0.67%, which is exactly what happens when you blend “US rocket ship” with “rest-of-world jogger.” The max drawdown of about -34% in early 2020 shows the price of being 100% in stocks: when markets panic, you ride the full emotional roller coaster. Past data is useful, but it’s still yesterday’s weather, not tomorrow’s forecast.

Projection Info

The Monte Carlo simulation runs 1,000 alternate futures, like watching 1,000 different timelines of your portfolio. Median outcome: $1,000 grows to about $2,771 in 15 years, with an overall average simulated return of 8.05% a year. The range is wide: $987 at the low end (p5) to $7,800 at the high end (p95), which is code for “this could be mildly disappointing or stupidly good.” That 72.9% chance of ending positive is solid but not guaranteed comfort. Simulations are just fancy “what if” scenarios based on history and assumptions — super helpful, but still closer to a weather model than a prophecy.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    100%

Asset classes: 100% stocks, 0% everything else. This isn’t a “balanced” portfolio; it’s an equity maximalist cosplaying as balanced because someone slapped a 4/7 risk score on it. No bonds, no cash buffer, no diversifiers — just full throttle in the stock market at all times. That’s fine if the time horizon is long and nerves are reinforced with steel, but it’s not exactly designed for smooth sailing. The main insight: this setup is built for growth, not comfort. If short-term volatility feels like a personal insult, a 100% equity allocation is basically choosing the hard mode setting on purpose.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    26%
  • Financials
    16%
  • Industrials
    12%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    10%
  • Health Care
    9%
  • Telecommunications
    8%
  • Consumer Staples
    5%
  • Basic Materials
    4%
  • Energy
    4%
  • Utilities
    3%
  • Real Estate
    2%

Sector-wise, this thing is a tech-flavored index salad: around 26% technology, then financials, industrials, and consumer-oriented sectors carrying most of the rest. Real estate and utilities barely show up, which means you’re not leaning into the slow, boring, defensive corners of the market. But this is exactly what broad indexes do: they give more space to sectors that have grown big and profitable. So you’re not consciously making a tech bet; you’re just accepting that the modern economy is tech-heavy. Takeaway: when tech sneezes, this portfolio catches a cold, but it’s still spread across plenty of other lines of business.

Regions Info

  • North America
    63%
  • Europe Developed
    15%
  • Japan
    6%
  • Asia Developed
    6%
  • Asia Emerging
    6%
  • Australasia
    2%
  • Africa/Middle East
    1%
  • Latin America
    1%

Geographically, this screams “American with a passport”: roughly 63% North America, with Europe, Japan, and other regions getting decent but clearly second-tier billing. It’s actually more worldly than many US-heavy portfolios, which usually treat the rest of the planet like background characters. Still, the US is firmly the main character here. The upside: you’re aligned with the largest, most liquid equity market. The downside: if US leadership stumbles for a long stretch, your portfolio will sulk along with it. Surprisingly, for something so simple, the global split is actually pretty reasonable — not heroic, but definitely not “America or bust” either.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    46%
  • Large-cap
    33%
  • Mid-cap
    17%
  • Small-cap
    2%

Market cap breakdown: 46% mega-cap, 33% large-cap, 17% mid-cap, 2% small-cap. Translation: this portfolio strongly prefers established giants over scrappy underdogs. You’re basically hanging out in the stock market’s big-city downtown while barely visiting the small-cap countryside. That means smoother behavior than a small-cap-heavy setup, but also less exposure to those high-risk, high-chaos growth stories. It’s a very index-like profile: most of the action comes from global behemoths whose names you already know. The takeaway: if you ever feel like you’re missing out on wild small-cap swings, that’s because you are — and it’s mostly by design.

True holdings Info

  • NVIDIA Corporation
    4.39%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF
  • Apple Inc
    3.98%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF
  • Microsoft Corporation
    2.98%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF
  • Amazon.com Inc
    2.08%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF
  • Alphabet Inc Class A
    1.85%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF
  • Broadcom Inc
    1.54%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF
  • Alphabet Inc Class C
    1.48%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF
  • Meta Platforms Inc.
    1.44%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF
  • Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Co. Ltd.
    1.37%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Tesla Inc
    1.15%
    Part of fund(s):
    • LS 1x Tesla Tracker ETP Securities GBP
    • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF
  • Top 10 total 22.26%

Look-through holdings show the usual celebrity lineup: NVIDIA, Apple, Microsoft, Amazon, Alphabet, Meta, Tesla, TSMC — basically the stock-market Avengers. You didn’t pick them directly, but they still run the show inside your funds. There’s hidden concentration here: the same mega-cap names are sitting inside both US and international funds via cross-listings or overlapping indexes, even if the top-10 coverage only shows a slice. So while this looks diversified on paper, your portfolio mood is heavily driven by a handful of global giants. The takeaway: you’re not betting on thousands of companies equally — you’re quietly worshipping at the altar of Big Tech and friends.

Factors Info

Value
Preference for undervalued stocks
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Size
Exposure to smaller companies
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Momentum
Exposure to recently outperforming stocks
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Quality
Preference for financially healthy companies
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Yield
Preference for dividend-paying stocks
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Low Volatility
Preference for stable, lower-risk stocks
Neutral
Data availability: 100%

Factor exposure is hilariously neutral across the board: value, size, momentum, quality, yield, low volatility — all hovering around the “meh” 50% mark. Factors are like the flavor profile of your portfolio: value vs. growth, big vs. small, stable vs. chaotic, and so on. Here, the flavor is “market vanilla.” No hard lean into cheap stocks, high-dividend payers, tiny companies, or trendy rockets. That’s either very intentional or perfectly accidental, but it works: this behaves like a textbook market portfolio. The plus: you’re not secretly making some weird side bet. The minus: you’re not exploiting any particular edge either. Just pure beta.

Risk contribution Info

  • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF
    Weight: 60.00%
    62.1%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
    Weight: 40.00%
    37.9%

Risk contribution is basically asking, “Who’s actually driving the drama?” Your 60% S&P 500 position contributes about 62% of total risk, while the 40% international fund chips in 38%. So the US side is pulling slightly more than its weight in the volatility department, but nothing outrageous. No sneaky 5% position causing 30% of the chaos — just two big chunks doing exactly what their size suggests. The main lesson: in a simple two-fund portfolio like this, risk is extremely transparent. If you ever want less heartburn, dialing back equities altogether will matter far more than trying to fine-tune between these two.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

On risk vs. return, this thing is annoyingly competent. The current portfolio has a Sharpe ratio of 0.55, with expected return of 13.34% and risk of 17%. The Sharpe ratio measures how much return you get per unit of volatility — kind of a “how hard is your stress working for you” score. The optimizer says you could push to a Sharpe of 0.8 by tweaking weights among the same ingredients, or go lower risk with slightly better efficiency. But you’re already on or very close to the efficient frontier, meaning for this risk level you’re using the building blocks well. In other words: no clown show here.

Dividends Info

  • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF 1.10%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 2.80%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 1.78%

Dividend yield sits around 1.78% overall, with the US piece barely cracking 1.1% while international carries more of the income at 2.8%. This is not an income machine; it’s a growth-first setup that throws you a modest dividend bone each year. Relying on this to fund serious spending would be like trying to pay rent from loose change in your car. Still, dividends matter: they provide a small, steady drip of return that doesn’t depend on prices going up. Just don’t confuse this with a high-yield strategy — this is more “accidental income” than a carefully crafted paycheck portfolio.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • Vanguard S&P 500 ETF 0.03%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 0.05%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.04%

Costs are the one area where this portfolio is straight-up smug: a 0.04% total TER is almost offensively low. That’s $0.40 a year per $1,000, which is less than what you’d lose dropping a coin under the couch. Many people happily torch 0.5–1.0% annually on fancier-sounding products that do basically the same thing with more marketing. Here, you’re getting broad global equity exposure at thrift-store pricing. You somehow managed to click all the correct buttons without paying the “I didn’t know better” tax. The roast, if any: you’ve left almost no room to improve on fees, so the excuses now have to be about behavior.

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