Roast mode 🔥

Solid but slightly sleepy index stew pretending to be edgy with a sprinkle of gold

Report created on May 5, 2026

Risk profile Info

4/7
Balanced
Less risk More risk

Diversification profile Info

4/5
Broadly Diversified
Less diversification More diversification

Positions

This portfolio is basically a two-fund world tracker with a tiny gold keychain attached for personality. It screams “I clicked the first sensible options and stopped thinking,” which is not the worst crime in investing but also not exactly creativity. With 57% in total US stocks and 38% in total ex-US, the structure is clean but rigid, like a prefab house. The 5% gold is too small to be a real diversifier and too big to fully ignore. Overall, it’s coherent, but painfully predictable — if diversification was a basic default setting, this is what it would look like.

Growth Info

Historically, this thing did just fine but not spectacularly. Turning $1,000 into $3,405 over about 10 years is a 13.09% CAGR — Compound Annual Growth Rate, basically your average “speed” over the whole ride. The US market alone would have left it behind, but it slightly beat the global market, so it’s the kid in the middle of the class who passes comfortably but never tops anything. Max drawdown was about -33%, right in line with the benchmarks, so no hidden resilience bonus. Past data is yesterday’s weather: decent clues, zero guarantees this mix will ever outrun the US again.

Projection Info

The Monte Carlo simulation — thousands of “what if” futures rolled like dice — says this portfolio’s next 15 years are more “slow climb” than “rocket ship.” Median outcome is $2,792 from $1,000, with a likely range from “meh” to “that was pretty respectable.” Annualized return across simulations is 7.95%, noticeably below the backward-looking 13% party you saw in history. Translation: the future is likely less generous than the backtest. There’s a 74% chance of ending with gains, but that also means roughly one in four worlds ends flat or worse. It’s competent, not charmed.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    95%
  • Other
    5%

Asset class breakdown is 95% stocks and 5% “other,” which is code for “we tossed in a little gold for vibes.” For something called “balanced,” this is basically all-in on equities with a golden participation trophy. Balanced normally hints at mixing shock absorbers (like bonds) with growth engines (stocks); here it just means “not 100% stocks, technically.” In practice, the portfolio is riding the equity roller coaster and hoping 5% gold does emotional support duty. The asset mix is simple and aggressive, just dressed up with a friendlier label than it deserves.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    24%
  • Financials
    16%
  • Industrials
    12%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    9%
  • Health Care
    9%
  • Telecommunications
    7%
  • Consumer Staples
    5%
  • Energy
    4%
  • Basic Materials
    4%
  • Utilities
    3%
  • Real Estate
    2%

This breakdown covers the equity portion of your portfolio only.

Sector spread looks like someone copied the global stock market and called it a day. Technology at 24% is high but not outrageous for broad indexes; it’s more “tech enthusiasm” than full-on addiction. Financials, industrials, health care, and consumer sectors all show up in textbook proportions, which is sensible but also means zero deliberate tilts. There’s no bold bet or quirky angle here: no monster overweight in one area, no glaring blind spot in another. It’s like ordering the sampler platter — you get a bit of everything, but nothing that explains a unique personality or edge.

Regions Info

  • North America
    60%
  • Europe Developed
    14%
  • Japan
    6%
  • Asia Developed
    6%
  • Asia Emerging
    5%
  • Australasia
    2%
  • Africa/Middle East
    1%
  • Latin America
    1%

This breakdown covers the equity portion of your portfolio only.

Geographically, this portfolio is a polite version of “America first.” About 60% in North America, with Europe, Japan, and other regions filling in like afterthoughts. It’s basically mirroring global market weights, so the US dominance isn’t a conscious gamble — it’s baked into the system. There’s at least token exposure to almost every major region, which looks worldly at first glance. But let’s be honest: the rest of the world here is supporting cast, not co-stars. If US markets sneeze, this portfolio still catches a cold; the international slice just slightly dilutes the symptoms.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    40%
  • Large-cap
    29%
  • Mid-cap
    17%
  • Small-cap
    5%
  • No data
    5%
  • Micro-cap
    1%

This breakdown covers the equity portion of your portfolio only.

Market cap mix is mostly mega and large caps, with 69% sitting in the big leagues and only a token sprinkling of mid and small caps. So yes, it owns “the whole market,” but in the same way a stadium crowd owns the game — a few stars matter, everyone else is background noise. Small and micro caps barely register, which means less of that wild upside (and wild downside) that smaller companies bring. This is a comfort-zone capitalization profile: heavily tilted to the giants that already made it, not the upstarts trying to get on the board.

True holdings Info

  • NVIDIA Corporation
    3.65%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Apple Inc
    3.37%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Microsoft Corporation
    2.49%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Amazon.com Inc
    1.82%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Alphabet Inc Class A
    1.52%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Broadcom Inc
    1.33%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Taiwan Semiconductor Manufacturing Co. Ltd.
    1.31%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Alphabet Inc Class C
    1.20%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Meta Platforms Inc.
    1.13%
    Part of fund(s):
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Tesla Inc
    0.95%
    Part of fund(s):
    • LS 1x Tesla Tracker ETP Securities GBP
    • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
  • Top 10 total 18.78%

This breakdown covers the equity portion of your portfolio only.

The look-through view just confirms the obvious: this is secretly a megacap tech-and-friends portfolio cosplaying as “total market.” NVIDIA, Apple, Microsoft, Amazon, Alphabet, Meta, Tesla — the usual suspects are doing the headlining. Because both major ETFs hold many of the same giants, there’s overlap baked in, even if we’re only seeing top-10 data. Owning two broad funds doesn’t magically diversify away the same big names; it just rebrands the concentration. The hidden message: despite the global and total labels, a lot of this portfolio’s fate is chained to a handful of superstar companies.

Factors Info

Value
Preference for undervalued stocks
Neutral
Data availability: 95%
Size
Exposure to smaller companies
Neutral
Data availability: 95%
Momentum
Exposure to recently outperforming stocks
Neutral
Data availability: 95%
Quality
Preference for financially healthy companies
Neutral
Data availability: 95%
Yield
Preference for dividend-paying stocks
Neutral
Data availability: 100%
Low Volatility
Preference for stable, lower-risk stocks
High
Data availability: 100%

Factor exposures are estimated using statistical models based on historical data and measure systematic (market-relative) tilts, not absolute portfolio characteristics. Results may vary depending on the analysis period, data availability, and currency of the underlying assets.

Factor exposure is almost aggressively average, like it tried to dodge having a personality. Value, size, momentum, quality, and yield are all basically neutral — very “index by default.” The only actual tilt is toward low volatility at 61%, meaning the mix leans ever so slightly toward stocks that wobble less than the wild stuff. Factor exposure is like the ingredient label, and this one reads “generic blend with a pinch of chill.” It won’t shine in any specific regime, but it also isn’t making any heroic or self-destructive bets. Accidentally sensible, annoyingly boring.

Risk contribution Info

  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares
    Weight: 57.00%
    61.7%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
    Weight: 38.00%
    37.4%
  • iShares Gold Trust
    Weight: 5.00%
    0.9%

Risk contribution reveals who’s actually rocking the boat, and surprise: the US total market fund is driving 62% of total risk off a 57% weight. The international fund pulls roughly its fair share of volatility, and gold is basically just sitting quietly in the corner contributing under 1% of the drama. So despite the fancy diversification score, one holding is clearly in the driver’s seat. This is like a three-person group project where one person does most of the work, one helps a bit, and the last one just adds their name to the slide deck.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

The efficient frontier chart is basically calling this portfolio out for being lazy with what it already owns. At its current mix, it sits 1.72 percentage points below the best achievable return for the same risk. Sharpe ratio — the “how much return per unit of pain” score — is 0.59, while the optimal version of the same three holdings hits 1.1. That’s not a rounding error; that’s wasted potential. In plain terms, just rearranging the existing pieces could have delivered more return with less drama. The ingredients are fine; the recipe is underwhelming.

Dividends Info

  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares 1.10%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 2.80%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 1.69%

The total yield around 1.69% proves this portfolio is not here for the paycheck. With the US fund yielding barely over 1% and the international side doing more of the heavy lifting, income is clearly a side quest, not the main story. Dividends can provide a bit of cushion and psychological comfort, but here they’re more of an occasional “thanks for holding” note from the market. This is a growth-first setup wearing a faint dividend fragrance. Anyone expecting meaningful cash flow from this mix is basically trying to live off pocket change.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • iShares Gold Trust 0.25%
  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares 0.03%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 0.05%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.05%

Costs are almost suspiciously low, with a total TER of 0.05%. That’s “did I forget a digit?” territory. The gold ETF is the priciest at 0.25%, but with only 5% weight it barely dents the total. The main equity funds are bargain‑bin cheap, so at least the portfolio isn’t lighting money on fire through fees. It’s like flying economy but paying near-standby prices: same turbulence, same seat, a little more cash left in the wallet. No roasting needed here — you actually avoided the classic trap of overpaying for basic index exposure.

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