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A well-intentioned but scatterbrained attempt at global domination through ETFs

Report created on Jun 12, 2025

Risk profile Info

4/7
Balanced
Less risk More risk

Diversification profile Info

5/5
Highly Diversified
Less diversification More diversification

Positions

Your portfolio is like a buffet where you've piled on a bit of everything, hoping it all tastes good together. With a heavy lean on ETFs, you've basically walked through the market with a blindfold, grabbing at anything that feels remotely investment-like. The mix is eclectic — from the broad strokes of the Vanguard Total Stock Market to niche plays like iShares Floating Rate Bond ETF. It's like you're preparing for every possible economic scenario without realizing that you might just be watering down your potential returns.

Growth Info

Historically, your portfolio has had the volatility of a caffeinated squirrel, with a CAGR of 11.90% but a max drawdown that could give investors whiplash at -22.89%. It's like riding a rollercoaster where 90% of the thrill comes from just 23 days of operation. Sure, the highs are high, but are you sure you're not just getting tossed around by the market's mood swings?

Projection Info

Monte Carlo simulations suggest your portfolio's future is as predictable as a game of roulette, with outcomes varying wildly. While 996 out of 1,000 simulations promise positive returns, the range from the 5th to the 67th percentile is like the difference between a puddle and the Pacific. It’s great that you're optimistic, but banking on the median scenario without preparing for the storms could leave you soaked.

Asset classes Info

  • Stocks
    75%
  • Cash
    11%
  • Real Estate
    8%
  • Bonds
    6%
  • No data
    1%

Diving into asset classes, you seem to have a 75% crush on stocks, a fling with real estate and bonds, and a mysterious 1% "NotClassified" that's probably just loose change found under the couch cushions. This allocation screams, "I want growth but also kinda, sorta want safety," like wearing a helmet in a pillow fight. It's time to decide if you're in the race or just cheering from the sidelines.

Sectors Info

  • Technology
    17%
  • Real Estate
    16%
  • Financials
    12%
  • Health Care
    7%
  • Consumer Discretionary
    7%
  • Industrials
    7%
  • Telecommunications
    6%
  • Consumer Staples
    5%
  • Energy
    4%
  • Basic Materials
    2%
  • Utilities
    2%

Your sector spread has the subtle balance of a toddler's diet: heavy on tech and real estate, with a sprinkle of everything else for color. It's as if you heard diversification was key, so you decided to collect sectors like they were baseball cards. While collecting, you might've missed the part about how some sectors (looking at you, tech) can throw tantrums that upset the whole portfolio.

Regions Info

  • North America
    60%
  • Europe Developed
    10%
  • Japan
    5%
  • Asia Emerging
    4%
  • Asia Developed
    3%
  • Australasia
    2%
  • Africa/Middle East
    1%
  • Latin America
    1%

Geographically, your portfolio screams "home bias" with a 60% allocation to North America. It's like planning a world tour but spending half your time in your own backyard. Sure, the U.S. market is a comfy hammock, but there are parties around the globe you're missing out on. Dipping only 10% into Europe and sprinkling a little elsewhere isn't globe-trotting; it's barely globetrotting.

Market capitalization Info

  • Mega-cap
    28%
  • Large-cap
    27%
  • Mid-cap
    20%
  • Small-cap
    5%
  • Micro-cap
    1%

Your market cap allocation is like a middle school dance: the big and mega caps are slow dancing in the middle of the floor, while the small and micro caps are awkwardly hanging around the punch bowl. With 28% in mega and 27% in big caps, you're playing it safe, but those small and micro caps could spice up the party if given a chance.

Redundant positions Info

  • Vanguard International High Dividend Yield Index Fund ETF Shares
    Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares
    High correlation

You've got some ETF pairs in your portfolio that are so closely related, they might as well share a social security number. The Vanguard International High Dividend and Vanguard Total International Stock ETFs are like identical twins, making your "highly diversified" claim a bit of a stretch. It's time to break up the family reunion and invite some unrelated guests to the party.

Risk vs. return

This chart shows the Efficient Frontier, calculated using your current assets with different allocation combinations. It highlights the best balance between risk and return based on historical data. "Efficient" portfolios maximize returns for a given risk or minimize risk for a given return. Portfolios below the curve are less efficient. This is informational and not a recommendation to buy or sell any assets.

Click on the colored dots to explore allocations.

The Efficient Frontier is like the diet plan of investing — it's all about getting the most (returns) for the least (risk). But your portfolio is currently on a diet that's all carbs and no protein. Sure, you're full, but are you nourished? With potential for an optimized return of 2.79% at the same risk level, it's like you're settling for fast food when you could have a balanced meal.

Dividends Info

  • iShares Core Moderate Allocation ETF 3.00%
  • iShares Floating Rate Bond ETF 5.30%
  • JPMorgan Equity Premium Income ETF 8.30%
  • Schwab U.S. Dividend Equity ETF 3.90%
  • Schwab U.S. Large-Cap Growth ETF 0.40%
  • iShares® 0-3 Month Treasury Bond ETF 4.60%
  • Vanguard Real Estate Index Fund ETF Shares 4.00%
  • Vanguard Global ex-U.S. Real Estate Index Fund ETF Shares 4.50%
  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares 1.30%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 2.90%
  • Vanguard International High Dividend Yield Index Fund ETF Shares 4.10%
  • Weighted yield (per year) 3.07%

Your dividend yield strategy is like finding loose change in the sofa: nice when it happens, but not a reliable income strategy. With yields ranging from a measly 0.4% to a more respectable 8.3%, it seems like you're trying to have your cake and eat it too. Sure, dividends are tasty, but relying on them for growth is like expecting birthday candles to cook your dinner.

Ongoing product costs Info

  • iShares Core Moderate Allocation ETF 0.15%
  • iShares Floating Rate Bond ETF 0.15%
  • JPMorgan Equity Premium Income ETF 0.35%
  • Schwab U.S. Dividend Equity ETF 0.06%
  • Schwab U.S. Large-Cap Growth ETF 0.04%
  • iShares® 0-3 Month Treasury Bond ETF 0.07%
  • Vanguard Real Estate Index Fund ETF Shares 0.12%
  • Vanguard Global ex-U.S. Real Estate Index Fund ETF Shares 0.12%
  • Vanguard Total Stock Market Index Fund ETF Shares 0.03%
  • Vanguard Total International Stock Index Fund ETF Shares 0.05%
  • Vanguard International High Dividend Yield Index Fund ETF Shares 0.22%
  • Weighted costs total (per year) 0.08%

On the bright side, your portfolio's overall costs are so low, it's like you're sneaking into the market through a side door. With a Total Expense Ratio (TER) averaging around 0.08%, you're not bleeding money on fees, which is more than can be said for many investors. It's like finding a parking spot that doesn't charge by the hour — a small victory, but a victory nonetheless.

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